Holidays By Bakura
by Hikari of the Moon
Summary: Bakura teachs Marik and friends about holidays and some major events in the year. That wouldn't be a problem if Bakura wasn't the one teaching them...
1. April

Hikari: Happy anniversary!  
Yawi: ...What's it the anniversary of?  
Hikari: Well, nothing really. But today's halfway between my becoming a user, and my first fanfiction going up. Plus Easter is the day after tomorrow.  
Yawi: So...it's celebrating all three?  
Hikari: You got it! Disclaimer time!

Yawi: Hikari of the Moon does not own Yu-gi-oh, Yu-gi-oh! Dawn of the Duel, OR Yu-gi-oh! GX. She owns...herself, her almighty yami, the plot of this fanfiction, the nameless girl, and that weird dude pretending to be the Easter Bunny.

* * *

Bakura, Marik, and Malik were walking through the Domino Mall. They had been chased out of Ishizu and Ryou's houses, and were still banned from most of the local shops, so the mall was their only option. Okay, so it wasn't, but it was all they could think of! All the stores had banners, streamers, and balloons announcing their Easter sales, since it was that Sunday. 

"So...You celebrate a hoppy-thing hiding coloured eggs?"

"No, no, Marik!" Bakura said, "We celebrate the Easter Bunny hiding coloured eggs filled with candy!" He smiled at the thought of candy.

"But how does the candy get in the eggs? I thought they had omelets in them."

"The eggs are plastic! They don't have- Wait, you think eggs have omelets in them?"

The slightly crazed yami, Marik, looked over at his hikari. "Isn't there some other thing about this Easter?"

Malik shrugged. "I'm Egyptian. I lived in a hole in the ground until I was a teenager. Do you think I know?"

"You knew riding our motorcycle in Shadi's living room would get us in trouble..." Marik stopped walking, forcing the others to stop with him.

"Marik, you bozo," Bakura snapped, "Of course you'll get in trouble doing that! If I did that-"

"_We'd _be wondering how you got our motorcycle!" Malik interrupted.

"And so would I, dude...So would I..." Bakura started walking again, but tripped over a little kid. "Hey, watch where you're going, runt!"

"Sorry, mister, but the Easter Bunny's here!" The child went into the little area where the costumed person was.

"Wow!" Marik said in awe, "That's one big bunny!" He turned to Malik. "Can we go see him?"

Malik threw his hands in the air, dropping Bakura back on the ground, and said, "No! We're sixteen! We are NOT going to go see the Easter Bunny!" Marik used his infamous 'do-as-I-say-or-face-my-monster's-wrath' look. "That doesn't work on me, Marik."

"Then I'll change tactics," Marik stated. He changed his look to the 'please-please-please-let-me-do-whatever-I'm-asking' look.

"Marik!"

* * *

"And that's how you ended up in line, eh?" 

"Yeah," Bakura sighed, "I should've listened when I was told to pick better friends."

The girl he had been talking with smiled back. "You poor thing. It's probably bad karma. Ever done anything bad?"

"Well," Bakura thought hard and then listed them off, "I tried to kill a pharaoh, robbed a tomb, tried to take over the world, possessed at least five different people, became immortal, took out someone eye, stabbed my ex-host, sided with Marik, sided _against _Marik, sent the pharaoh and his little group into the past, tried to take over the world again, and stole from most every store in Domino..;" By that time, Bakura noticed the girl had already run off. "You could've let me finish first!"

Malik elbowed him, "By that time, she'd be too scared to run away!" He laughed until Bakura slapped him.

"Stop fighting, guys! Santa's ready!" Marik jumped with joy.

"...This is the Easter Bunny, stupid!" said Bakura.

"Fat red guy; tall white bunny," Malik replied,"What's the difference to Marik?"

Marik walked foreword nervously. So what if it was the Easter Bunny? Maybe he talked to Santa and Santa had told him…her…it…about how he did everything so meanly! What if Yami had told him all about the mean things he had done to him? Oh well, he'd deal with that if he did know. Bakura still had his lighter after all... He stopped once he was standing next to the Easter Bunny and smiled brightly.

"Aren't you a little old?" The bunny asked.

"I'm sixteen." Marik paused, then continued, "But, technically, I'm only six, so I don't think I am.

"Err...okay...whatever...So, you want to have your picture taken?" Marik's eyes widened and he nodded his head rapidly.

"That'd be awesome!"

"Cool. So, hippity-hop right up here!" The Easter Bunny hopped in front of the camera, but Marik didn't move.

"Do I have to hop?" He asked. That'd be pretty babyish.

The Bunny waved him over with a paw. "Ah, come on, It'll be fun!"

Marik shrugged and hopped over to the Bunny while Malik and Bakura laughed. He looked over at them and shouted, "You're supposed to be my friends!"

"If they were your friends, they wouldn't laugh." What the Easter Bunny said next chilled the blood in their veins. "And they'd hippity-hop up here!"

Malik and Bakura struggled against Marik's grip, but failed to break free as he dragged them up next to him with the Bunny.

"Now, gimmie a big, toothy, rabbity smile!" It said loudly.

"This is too much like Barney for me." Bakura said under his breath. He reached into his pocket for his trusty lighter, clicked it on, and smiled at the camera. This taught all the little kiddies an important lesson. Fire and synthetic fur don't mix.

The fire started to spread while the picture was taken. The photographer handed the photo to Malik, and then they walked to the side and waited for it to develop. Soon after, the whole suit caught fire.

"Aaah! The pain! The rabbity pain!" Marik and Bakura slinked away, guiding Malik along with them. "Maybe if I rub my foot it'll go away!"

"The picture's done appearing!" Malik said. All three of them looked over at the photo and smirked. It had Marik with an arm around the rabbit, Malik giving bunny ears to it, Bakura smiling at the camera, and flame on the fur.

"I think this is the first of many great pictures..."

* * *

A hour or so later, Bakura, Marik, and Malik were sitting infront of Malik's sister and Ryou. Just by looking at them, you could tell they weren't pleased. Once they opened their mouths, it was obvious. 

"You lit someone on fire?" Ryou screamed. "What am I going to do with you!"

"Ryou," Ishizu said, "Do not blame yourself for Bakura's bad choices. It was his own will that made him do what he did."

"This from the woman who blamed everything she did on destiny." Malik whispered to his 'partners in crime'.

Ryou glared. "I expected better from you, Malik. You're a hikari!"

"So? I'm the demon-hikari, you're the angel-hikari, and Yugi's-"

"The stupid hikari!" Bakura shouted over Malik.

"That's it!" Ryou stomped over to his yami, and snatched Bakura's lighter from his hands.

"No, not Shawn!" Bakura yelled and stood up.

"You named your lighter?" Marik said, stupefied.

"Just my favourite one," Bakura said, "I have about ten more back home."

"And until you spend some time being good, you won't get...'Shawn' back!" Ryou snapped. "We're going home _now_." He turned to Ishizu. "Good luck with these."

"Oh, don't worry about _me_..." Ishizu said back.

Malik and Marik gasped. "NO! DON'T LEAVE US WITH HER!" But Ryou had already left the room.

"I'd like to help you, guys, but...I just don't care all that badly." Bakura shrugged.

"YOU'D BETTER BE RIGHT BEHIND ME, BAKURA!" Bakura jumped at Ryou's scream, and dashed outside.

Ishizu sighed, and looked at her brother and his counterpart. "Do something like this one more time, and I'll have Shadi turn your brains into mush," she said. The boys nodded fiercely, and Ishizu walked into the kitchen.

"Next time we do something like this, let's make sure we're really far away from her." Malik said.

"Like maybe a whole ocean apart!" Marik said, jumping up, and holding out his arms as wide as he could. "That's like this far away!"

"Sure...and then maybe we'll wear some dopey outfits and scream at everyone in sight."

"Sounds like fun! I'm free Sunday!"

Malik looked up at his yami. "No you aren't, that's when Easter is!"

"What's Easter?"

* * *

Yawi: Somehow, this doesn't look done.  
Hikari: That's because it's a series. I'll post a new chapter for every major holiday I can, when it comes up.  
Yawi: So this'll go on for a year or more?  
Hikari: Yup. ((pokes the screen)) So you guys need to review now! I'm not going away that easy!  
Yawi: I wish you would… 


	2. May

Hikari: So, when I was wondering how I was going to get a chapter for this out each month, some of the "holidays" they celebrate ended up not being holidays at all. Such as this month's subject! Yawi, get the disclaimer.  
Yawi: …A reviewer called me cool…  
Hikari: Yes, and you've been in shock about it for days. Can you please get your brain back?  
Yawi: After the chapter.  
Hikari: Works for me! Disclaiming time!

Yawi: You think Hikari of the Moon owns Yugioh? At all? HA HA HA HA! She owns none of this but the plot! And money? She gets NONE for writing this!  
Hikari: Yawi, read the card like it says next time!  
Yawi: She also doesn't own the paragraph for the reading section. Her brother came up with that.

* * *

Ryou was sitting at his desk, reading some text books. He started chewing on his eraser, and groaned when it broke apart in his mouth. His wonderful, note the sarcasm, yami ran into Ryou's room and threw the phone at his feet. 

"Ryou! Malik won't come play with me! How come?" Bakura shouted his question at Ryou.

He glanced up from his book to look tiredly at Bakura. "We're taking our final exams tomorrow and he's probably studying. Like I am." He hoped Bakura understood that he meant "Get out of my room so I can study!", but…

"Final exams? Ryou, what's that?" Bakura stopped playing with one of his less-important lighters to listen to the answer he knew he was going to get.

"It's the test that shows the school who's smart and who skipped class all year. The smart ones pass with higher marks, while the ones who skipped class fail."

Bakura was quiet for a few seconds. "So how come Malik won't come over? We both know he'll fail!"

"Malik won't fail if he studies hard." Ryou actually believed in Malik until…

"Ry, when Ishizu walked into the classroom for a parent-teacher thing, they thought Malik was dead!"

Ryou's face went stark white. "Malik's toast…"

* * *

The next day, Bakura was being dragged to school with Ryou. Malik and Marik were standing in front of the school, probably waiting for their white-haired friends. Marik ran over to them. He was waving some papers as he ran and slid to a stop in front of Bakura. 

"Bakura, guess what I got for us!" Marik shouted.

The papers hit Bakura in the face while he replied, "Let me guess. Those papers?"

"They aren't just papers! They're…tests!"

"Test?" Bakura took the papers, which where bound together like a crude book, from Marik. These were tests? "You mean the thing Malik's going to fail?"

Marik blinked. "You know Malik can hear you, right?"

"Well, he will!" Bakura snorted. Malik always laughed and came down from whatever tower of rage he was on when Bakura snorted. He hoped Malik would do the same now and not tell Ryou about what he said. Knowing his best friend, he'd blow everything out of proportion and Ryou wouldn't give back Shawn, his lighter, for another week. That is, if Malik didn't use his normal excuse. Ryou always saw through Malik's normal excuse.

"Good idea." As always, Marik knew what Bakura was planning when he snorted. "Unfortunately, we have to take the test."

"WHAT!"

"But that's not all! Guess who else is joining our wonderful little test group?" Marik held up three fingers. "You have this many guesses!"

"…I don't know. The Easter Bunny?"

They both laughed. "No, he's still got that re-training order on me."

"_Restraining_ order, Marik." Bakura corrected.

"Yeah, yeah, who cares. They both rhyme with lame." Marik's eyes widened. "Oh, I know! I'll give you some hints!" Then an evil smirk the likes of which Bakura had never seen and, frankly, had never wanted to see, appeared on Marik's face. "He's a stuck up jerk we both hate, he's right behind you, and he's wearing a collar and chain."

Bakura snickered, then said, "I know who we both hate, I know he's a stuck up jerk, but there's no way Yami would wear a collar and cha-" Before Bakura could finish, Marik grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him around. "-Oh there is no way we both didn't bring a camera! NO WAY! Tell me you brought a camera."

"…My cell phone has a camera in it, Bakura." Bakura turned to the speaker.

"When did you get here, Ryou?" Bakura asked.

Ryou glared, but then…"Well, it was about sixteen years ago. My mom was in a great deal of pain and-"

"RYOU!" They both screamed to stop him.

Yugi, Yami, and those…people who followed them around finally made it to the school gates where everyone, save Malik, was. "Hey Ryou," Yugi said, "Yami's here for the testing!"

"Whether he wants to or not." Yami said glumly while toying with the collar. "Did you have to use this, Yugi?"

"You wouldn't have come otherwise." Yugi smiled and ignored his yami's complaints. "Now, should we get them ready?"

Ryou nodded. "Malik's been getting the room set up for them; it should be ready by now. Come on."

Bakura, Yami, and Marik followed the former two's hikaris into the school. While they walked, Bakura leaned over to Marik. "By getting the room set up, he means Malik took over people's minds and got us a room, right?"

Marik replied, his voice hushed. "Well how else would the demon-hikari get it done?"

* * *

Marik, Bakura, and Yami were forced in their room, into chairs far enough away from each other so they wouldn't cheat or fight, and got the teacher into the room as well. As they left, Ryou and Yugi couldn't tell who looked more uncomfortable: the yamis or the teacher. 

Malik leaned against the door, millennium rod in hand, and gave the teacher her commands. "You will give these three idiots," the idiots all complained to Malik as he said, "the YSAFI test exactly as you are supposed to. Once you finish, you will collect the answer sheets, grade them as normal, and then mail them as if nothing is abnormal about them. Then…forget this ever happened." He snapped the rod down, ended the commands, and with a smirk, darted out the door.

"Alright students!" The teacher said, "I'm Ms. Calamari, your examiner for this test!"

"There's a new attitude for mind control. Overly perky." Marik observed under his breath.

"No more talking, children!" Ms. Calamari squeaked. "Okay, as you already know, the YSAFI test is your final test for the year, and since you're from another school district, you can't take them by subject. Okay then! Any questions?" Bakura wondered why they came up with excuses when she was going to forget this anyways, but on second thought, decided that wasn't a question.

Yami raised his hand and, once he was called on, asked, "What does 'YSAFI' mean?"

"Well, the YSAFI test is called that for reasons you must answer on your own." They pulled out the test questions that Marik had thrown in the other two's faces and set them on the desks. If they hadn't known it was Malik controlling Ms. Calamari, they would've known when she threw the answer sheets at them.

"In the first section, you have thirty minutes to finish as many of the forty math questions as you can. If you have extra time, make sure you didn't skip a row. If you did, erase the answers _after_ you put them in the right row. Begin now!" At that, the yamis sprung open their test books to the right page and started working.

"Okay, first question," Bakura thought, " 'If Boy A is riding a rocket car at ninety-nine miles per second, how long will it take for him to die? A, one second; B, nine seconds; C, eight seconds; D, fifteen seconds.' How does any of that make sense! Okay, skip this one for now. 'Question two: If Boy B found the body of Boy A, how many pieces would it be in?'" Bakura put his pencil on the desk and gently lowered his head on the test book. "I am officially ready to shoot Marik for making me do this…"

Thirty minutes dragged on for Bakura, who refused to answer any of the questions after the horrid first two, and it flew on for the others. "Pencils down!" Ms. Calamari screeched. If for no other reason than shock, they put down the pencils. "The next section is critical reading. Why it's so critical, I don't know. You have twenty minutes for this section. If you finish early, and actually did your work, check that you didn't put down B instead of D. Any questions?" Bakura and Yami raised their hands. "Mr. Motou?"

"Why didn't you answer my last question?" Yami asked.

"Because what YSAFI stands for is none of your business. Why it is called that is explained with your scores. Now, Mr. Bakura?"

Bakura asked his question. "Why were the math questions so strange?"

"They seemed strange to you because you're a strange boy. Now begin!"

Bakura carefully read the paragraph. " 'Buck-toothed goats lives in the plains of Antarctica. They run wild through the plains and eats all the skunks they want because his nose was sealed closed by a teenager with a welding torch.' Hey, that wasn't a welding torch; that was Shawn!"

"Times up! Pencils down!" They dropped their pencils and the mind controlled Ms. Calamari continued to talk. "The last section is social studies! This contains questions about history and geography, not dating. Not that you three would do better with those questions anyway!"

"I'm telling Ishizu about that, Malik!" Marik snapped.

"You've got twenty-five minutes for this section. Have fun! It began when Marik interrupted me."

"WHAT!" The yamis screamed and quickly started work.

" 'Which pharaoh regained for the shortest amount of time?' I know that answer," Bakura thought with a smile, "Yami! …How can he not be an answer choice? Okay, Yami has an A in it so I'll just answer A." He filled in circle A and continued working in that fashion.

"Okay, stupid, weird-haired freaks! Time's up! Now leave your answer sheets and test books on your desk and get out of my sight. Your 'wonderful' hikaris are waiting outside the door! Good bye and good riddens!" With Ms. Calamari's warm sendoff, they walked out of the room and sure enough, Yugi, Ryou, and Malik were standing in the hall. Each yami had their own thing to say about the test.

"But what does YSAFI mean?" Yami asked Yugi.

"We can ask a senior if we see one," Yugi replied. Yami ran up the hall after that.

Marik lightly punched Malik's shoulder as he said, "Why did you make her act so mean?" Malik just shrugged and smiled creepily. "You're weird, Malik."

"NEVER AGAIN, RYOU!" Bakura screamed and shook Ryou. "Those math questions were scary!"

Marik looked over his shoulder at him. "You were scared of the math questions?"

"Blackberry jam." Marik shrieked and hid behind Malik; Bakura laughed loudly. "Oh I love doing that!"

"Do I want to know?" Yugi asked Ryou.

He shrugged before responding. "If you want. But it's right up there with your sleepover-duel off story."

Yugi turned a dull red. "No thank you!"

"Yugi! I found one!" Yami came back down the hall, dragging an older girl with him. "So, Miss, tell my friends and me what YSAFI means!"

"Well," the girl said, "I've always found it really weird, but I mailed the testers and they said it stands for 'You Stunk and Failed, Idiots'. Can I go now?" Yami nodded and the girl skipped down the hallway.

"Yeah, that's encouraging!" Yami said, a little disappointed.

"I think they're talking to you, Yami," Marik said.

"Why than- HEY!" Marik ran down the hall. "GET BACK HERE!" Bakura grabbed Ryou's cell phone and used the camera to take a picture of them.

"At least I'm having fun…"

"You won't if you fail!"

"I won't fail, Ryou."

"So…you don't fail if you fall asleep during the test?" Malik asked. "I always thought you had to stay awake."

"YOU DID WHAT!" Bakura took a few steps back. "YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!"

He turned and ran towards the door. "Hey guys! Hide me!"

* * *

Hikari: Alright, I get a little break before next month's chapter.  
Yawi: Review and tell us what you thought of this chapter! 


	3. June

Hikari: …I have nothing to say about how horribly late this chapter was. I wanted to get it up by mid-month, but too many things got in the way. I'll give excuses if you want.  
Yawi: And we don't. They've waited long enough, give them the chapter!

Disclaimer: Hikari of the Moon owns NOTHING except herself, Yawi, and the plot. Wow, that was short…

* * *

Marik paced across the tile of his kitchen floor. Where was Bakura? He'd called that idiot almost twenty-four hours ago! Ishizu had talked to him a few days ago about why there were posters about hunting and fishing in every store and it had given him a brilliant idea! Okay, so Bakura had thought it was the lamest thing Marik had ever come up with INCLUDING the time they'd streaked in the mall then shoplifted for clothes, but he was still helping, so it couldn't be that bad, right? Right! 

"Marik! I'm going out to run some errands! Bakura is in the bathroom, but he'll be down in a minute. The house better still be here when I get back!" Ishizu yelled from the living room. Marik sighed before yelling back that she should pick up some flour at the store.

Bakura waited a few minutes for Ishizu to leave, and once she did, came out of the bathroom and held up the grocery bag filled to the brim with stuff. "Do you know how much this junk costs these days? You owe me for this." He passed Marik the stuff.

He dug through the bag and smiled at his white-haired friend. "This is perfect! Everything that's on the list is here!" But he found something that wasn't on the list and lifted out of the bag… "Pantene Silver Expressions, Bakura?"

Bakura's cheeks turned bright red. "Hey, have you seen my hair? It's close enough!" He yelled before grabbing the shampoo and conditioner. "So, you think he'll like this?"

"Of course he will! Malik loves cake! He eats it two times a day if Ishizu isn't watching and three if she is!"

"Let's just get started…" Marik nodded and dragged his friend into the kitchen, where a sheet of paper lay innocently on the counter and the oven was preheated to three hundred or so degrees.

Bakura pulled out of Marik's grip. With a glare, he walked to the sheet of paper and checked the recipe. "It takes an hour to bake, Marik!" He yelled.

"So? Ishizu won't be back for a couple of hours." Marik said. He was gathering the ingredients from around the kitchen.

"Yes, but Malik will be back in one and a half hours."

"…Meaning?"

Bakura sighed. "Meaning that unless we put it together in a half hour, it won't be done before he gets here." He paused for a moment. "Plus cooling and frosting time."

"Well…we can distract him while we finish!" Marik said with a smile. "And by we, I mean you."

"I can distract him while I finish?"

"No, you can distract him while I finish."

"But you said we meant me, so it meant I was both. But you said you were doing one of the we things, so you're me, but I'm me so…" Bakura held his head, feeling a headache coming on. "Let's just get started."

"It says, mix flour, baking powder, salt, and baking soda in a large bowl." Marik read.

Bakura dumped in the whole bag of flour, both the boxes of baking powder and baking soda, and the salt container while Marik watched.

"Bakura…We have to measure them…And open them. Opening first." Marik took them from the bowl and put in the proper amounts. "Now, you mix the eggs, NO SHELLS," Bakura winced, "Together with the sugar, water, and eggstract."

"It says 'extract', Marik."

Marik grabbed the bottle and measured out a teaspoon. "I just said eggstract, Bakura, I know what I'm doing!" He dumped it into the bowl, poured in some water, and then stopped. "Malik likes a sweet cake…so maybe twice as much sugar-"

"NO! Do not mess with the recipe!" Marik shrugged and added the correct amount of sugar. "One time, Ryou messed with one, and he got a lumpy black mess that tasted horrible!"

Marik cracked the eggs, and dumped them into the bowl. He handed Bakura the whisk and let him work. About a minute later, he realized something. "You tasted the lumpy black mess?"

"Hey, it wasn't brown!"

"It's still bad!"

"He normally makes good things!"

"Really? What would that be?"

"Creampuffs, cakes, pies, you know, that kind of stuff."

"No, I mean how much of the stuff he makes is good?"

"…I'll get back to you on that."

"Bakura!" Marik grabbed Bakura's arm. While they were talking, Bakura had sped up while beating the stuff together and bits of the mixture were flying everywhere.

"You're ruining it!" He whined and snatched the whisk. "You go stir the dry stuff. GENTLY!"

"Gee…You're being a pain in the butt…" He lowered his head in mock-shame and stirred the dry stuff gently, just as Marik told him to.

"Hey…The deal's still open, right?" Bakura blinked then lifted the wooden spoon he was stirring with, swung it, and hit Marik in the shoulder. "Ack! What was that for?"

"We're baking the stupid cake for your little 'master plan', and you're worried about our deal!"

"Well if the deal's closed, the 'master plan' doesn't have a goal, does it!" Bakura stuck his tongue out at Marik, who did the same. They crossed their arms over their chests and glared at the other.

Both wondered what the other was thinking, and why they were even here. A thought occurred to Bakura then. If they didn't stop fighting, they wouldn't have fun over the rest of the summer. And that's what the whole plan was about! He opened his mouth, but before he could say anything…

"BAKURA! If we don't apologize, then we'll have a horrid summer!" Marik had, apparently, come to the same conclusion.

"Okay then, Marik, I'm…umm…How do you apologize?" He blushed a little, ashamed of not knowing.

Marik then said, "Well, on TV, they say…some stuff, then hug."

Bakura's eyes widened. "We have to hug!" He grimaced. "If it's what I've got to do to save my summer…" They walked towards each other and awkwardly hugged…for all of two seconds. Once that time passed, they darted away from the other, and agreed never to speak of that again. Neither saw the flash and the figure running away from the window.

"Now that that's over with, we can get back to work." Marik said.

Bakura looked at the clock on the oven. "We've got ten minutes to get it into the oven. Then it'll bake for an hour, but when it's ready the come out, Malik will be coming back." He laid a hand on Marik's shoulder. "We'll have to work as a team to get it ready in time."

Marik shrugged off the hand. "No problem for me. What do we have left to do?"

"I don't know. I don't have the recipe." Bakura said.

"You had it last! Where'd you put it?" He looked around the kitchen, but Marik couldn't find it.

"I think it's under the flour." They picked up the flour, and sure enough, it was there.

Marik read through the recipe once more. "We mix the dry and wet together, pour into pans, and bake in the oven. It's a good thing I turned it on to pre-heat already!"

"Yes Marik, it's good." Bakura meant it, but rolled his eyes.

Things went good from there. They got it mixed, into pans, and in the oven to bake. "Okay we'll have about five minutes after it comes out before Malik gets here." He looked over at Bakura, who was licking the spoon. "Bakura! I get the bowl then!" Marik dashed over to the bowl and started scooping leftover batter out to eat.

* * *

About fifty-five minutes later… 

"AH! Bakura! What is that beeping noise?" Marik yelled.

Bakura grabbed the oven mitts and quickly put them on. "That's the timer I set! The cake's done!" He opened the oven door and pulled out two cakes. Using a wooden toothpick, he stuck it into the center of the first cake and pulled it out. It came out clean, and he gave Marik a thumbs-up.

After seeing Bakura's sign for 'They're actually done.', he closed the oven and walked over to look at the cakes. "They look so good!" He exclaimed. "But now what do we do with them?"

"Let them cool for fifteen minutes, then frost them. It's a layer cake, so put frosting on the top of this one," he pointed to the one with a flatter top, "then put the other one on top of it, and then frost the sides and top so it looks good!" Marik nodded. "Good. Now, while you're doing all that in fifteen minutes, I'll occupy Malik so he doesn't find out until you give it to him."

"Right. Then the master plan moves forward!" They set another timer. So, happy with themselves, they returned to the living room to await Malik's return.

And sure enough, six minutes later, someone opened the front door. "Hi Malik!" Both shouted from the couch.

"Hi Marik! Who's voice two?" Malik yelled back.

"The almighty master of the universe!" Bakura said with pride.

"Oh. Hi Bakura!" Malik then ran into the room they were in, and the plan was put into action.

"Hey Malik," Bakura said, pulling his dueling deck out of his pocket, "Want to duel?"

Malik smiled. "You're on!"

* * *

Near the end of the second duel, the timer went off. "What was that?" Malik asked. 

"That's my cue!" Marik leapt up and ran into the kitchen to frost.

Malik was confused, but shrugged it off when Bakura attacked his life points directly. "I activate my trap! Magic Cylinder!"

That duel was over shortly afterwards and, to give Marik a few more minutes, started another duel. And after a rough match, Bakura was the winner of only one duel, with Malik winning the first and third. "Bakura! It's ready!"

He jumped up from the couch. "You're going to love this, Malik!" And once Malik was left even more shocked than before, Bakura went into the kitchen. "Wow…That actually doesn't look too bad!"

It was true. The cake was frosted with an orange frosting, and it was smooth almost all the way around. However, the top was piled with frosting. "Thank you, Bakura! Can we give it to him now?"

"Of course." They picked up the platter the cake was on and walked it into the living room. "Happy Father's Day!"

Malik was…stunned, to say the least. "What? …Why?" They put the cake on the table, and Marik sat down next to him.

"You know I came from your anger and madness and stuff, right?" Malik agreed. "Well, in some ways, that makes you my father. And that's what Father's Day is about!" Marik smiled brightly.

"I never thought of it like that…Thanks." Malik gave Marik a little hug. "But please don't mention that anymore. People would think we're weird." A moment went by, then all three laughed at that.

"In the words of some old lady, LET THEM EAT CAKE!" Bakura cut the cake and gave the biggest slice to Malik, the smallest to himself, and a good sized one to Marik.

"So, Malik, can I ask you a favor?" Here it was. The master plan was unfolding.

"What is it?" Malik said, perfectly happy with this actually _good_ cake.

"Can I go to America with Bakura, Ryou, and Ryou's Dad?" Malik almost choked on his cake.

"What!"

"It'll be perfectly safe, and they bought four tickets anyways. If I don't go, they'll be wasting money! And it's fine with Ryou's dad!" Marik pleaded.

"Let me think." Malik instructed. "How long would you be gone?"

"From June 30th to July 10th." Bakura said.

Malik thought it over. That was a while…and Ishizu had been wanting some time to relax…. "Okay, you can go."

"YES!" Both Marik and Bakura shouted, "YES! YES!"

While they jumped around for joy, Malik couldn't help wondering, why did he feel like he'd signed America's death wish?

* * *

Hikari: I know you all probably are ready for July, but it's not even started yet! Review to make me get to work? 


	4. July

Hikari: I'm so glad I got this out by my deadline! It's Yawi's birthday!  
Yawi: ((is wearing a silly birthday hat)) This makes as much sense as Bakura or Yami having a birthday!  
Hikari: I know! But you're my yami and this is the day we picked for your birthday a couple of years ago, so ha! Everyone sing! ((sings)) Happy Birthday-  
Yawi: I'm gonna get you! ((chases Hikari around))  
Hikari: Disclaimer time!

Disclaimer: Hikari of the Moon owns herself, Yawi, the plot, and the party guests. But NOTHING ELSE! And she certainly doesn't own Walmart!

* * *

"I told you, Ishizu, I packed everything I need!" 

"But what if you forgot something and had to come back!"

"I'd buy it over there! Relax!"

These are some of the lines that have been screamed back and forth in the Ishtar household for about...three hours. Yes, since six in the morning, Ishizu has been trying make sure Marik won't have to come back for anything. Even though Marik had been trying to tell her that America not only had stores, but it had the magical Walmart, which was legended to have everything you could ever want to buy in it. Ishizu, however, didn't believe in Walmarts, so Marik spent hours arguing with her.

"But Marik," Ishizu said, "I can't believe you're leaving! What time are you leaving again?"

"Our flight leaves at ten, but Ryou and Bakura are picking me up at nine." Marik replied.

Malik, who had been trying to sleep on the couch, murmured, "It's nine now, Mary..."

Marik froze. "Malik...Why did you call me Mary?"

"Yes, yes, Mary, I do think the clouds are puffiful."

...While Marik tried to figure out what Malik could possibly be dreaming about, Bakura and Ryou had their own problems...

"BAKURA! For the last time, you can't bring a single knife!"

"I'm not! I'm bringing a double-blade one!" Bakura held it up, and Ryou held up his bargaining chip. "Shawn?"

"If you don't bring a knife, you can bring Shawn."

Bakura wiped away his drool. "Okay, no knives! Gimmie Shawn!" Ryou gave it to him. "Yay!" He nuzzled Shawn with a dazed smile. "How are you my little Shawnie? I haven't seen you in months!" He then ran out of the room, screaming, "I'm gonna light something!"

"Bakura! You aren't done packing!" Ryou sighed and shook his head. "I'll have to finish for him..."

* * *

"Hey Marik! Ready for the flight?" Bakura yelled through the front door. 

Malik heard it and, still in a drowsy state, stumbled to the door. He fumbled with the knob for a few minutes. "Stinking, stupid, dumb..." Once he figured out it was locked, he opened the door and smiled. "Sheepy! I'll get Mary!" After that, he went up the stairs and out of view.

"...Why am I Sheepy? Ryou's the sheepish one!" Ryou walked up from behind him and poked him in the shoulder.

"I'm Fluffy, Bakura. I mean, Sheepy." Ryou laughed while Bakura sighed.

"Malik shouldn't be allowed to talk when sleeping."

Marik came flying down the stairs moments later; Ishizu was following, carrying two duffel bags. He then hugged Bakura and Ryou, making both of them a little more than a bit creeped out. "I owe you guys! Who else would invite me to go with them to another country!" He turned around and snapped his fingers. "Ishizu, get my bags to the car please."

She groaned and looked up. "Just a few more minutes...A few more minutes!" After that, she went over to the car and threw the bags in the trunk.

Ryou pointed to the figure lying at the top of the stairs. "Why is Malik so tired today? He's normally awake before Bakura gets here."

"He was up all night doing something...I don't remember what...Or care what, for that matter." Marik grabbed their arms and dragged them to the car. "Okay, Ryou's driving, right?"

"I'm the only one who knows how to drive, guys!" He thanked Ishizu, then they all got into the car. "We'll get to the airport, fly to America, and meet my Dad there."

Bakura leaned back in his seat. "How are you going to explain us to him, anyway? I'm the spirit of the Millennium Ring, and he's Malik's psycho-dark half."

"I'll think of something. Marik can be Malik's brother and you can be..."

"A sheep!" Marik laughed at his own joke. Ryou chuckled a little too.

"Why," Bakura snarled, "does everyone think I look like a sheep? RYOU looks more like a sheep than me!"

"Because you get angrier."

"...Oh, okay." Bakura looked up at Ryou to make sure he was paying more attention to the road than to him, and once he was sure he was, leaned over to Marik. "I got something special back."

"What is it, Bakura?" Marik said. Bakura slowly pulled Shawn out of his pocket. "Ryou gave you a lighter?"

He smiled brightly. "And not just any lighter. Shawn."

"This...will be funner than I thought..."

"It's 'more fun', not 'funner'." Ryou corrected.

"Grammar freak..."

* * *

How Bakura got Shawn past two metal detectors in two different countries is not only unknown to me, but to half the planet. So we'll skip to after that. 

"Ryou, their clocks are wrong!" Bakura shouted, drawing most of the airport lobby's attention to them.

Ryou sighed. "No, they aren't. It really is five in the afternoon here. Time zone changes depending on where you live, results may vary, please allow nine weeks for shipping and handling."

Bakura blinked once. Then twice. Then a third time when a strange man came up and hugged Ryou. He was about to go kung-fu on him when Ryou turned around and returned the hug, screaming "Daddy!".

"Ryou! So good to see you again!" He stood back a little ways and looked him over. "You've grown so much." Marik poked Bakura, who glanced over and saw Marik pretending to hurl.

"I can't wait to spend some time with you, Dad! It's been forever!" Ryou turned and pointed out his companions. "These are the friends you said I could bring. The one pretending to throw up is my best friend's brother, Marik, and the one who acts like Jesse McCartney's best friend is Bakura."

Bakura gasped. "I don't even know Jesse McCartney!"

"...Interesting choice of friends." Ryou's father said.

His son just sort of shrugged. "What can I say? Malik was sick and gave his ticket to his brother and Bakura...actually, I'm starting to wonder why I'm friends with him too."

With a sound of protest from Bakura, they all left the airport.

"Well, we're all very lucky we came at this time," the older man said to his son and his friends as they entered the taxi, "It's nearing Independence Day here."

"What's In-a-penny Day?" Marik asked.

"Independence Day is the celebration of when America became free from British rule." Ryou said.

"These days it's a day where everyone goes out, buys heaping loads of fire works, and sets them off in their back yard." Ryou's dad explained. Bakura's finger rubbed Shawn as his thoughts stirred and settled.

"Can we go get fireworks?" He asked. "I mean...It is traditional of the country, right?"

Ryou's father thought about it for a minute, then replied. "Ryou and I are going to spend some time bonding, and a friend of mine has invited us to their house for that night. However, you two can get some from Walmart and set them off at the party."

Marik almost jumped out of his seat. "HA! WALMART DOES EXIST!"

Bakura smiled sadistically. "Shawn will get some use for the first time since the Easter Bunny barbecue!"

Ryou lowered his head in shame. "Forgive them, Dad. They're somewhat crazy." After a beat, he continued. "And Shawn is his lighter."

"Ryou..." His father just couldn't find the words to say next and settled for sighing loudly and looking out the window for the rest of the ride.

* * *

"So...This is a Walmart..." Bakura looked up at the store in awe. 

Ryou smiled. "If you can't find it here, it can't be bought." His eyes widened, then he smirked. "Well, at least not legally."

Marik came running back to the group. "Okay, I used up the entire camera getting pictures of random stuff about and in the store! ...I need another camera." He held up his disposable one and Bakura laughed.

"You used up the whole entire camera already?" He slapped him on the back. "Then let's get shopping!"

The foursome walked into the building, and both Bakura and Marik were, for the second time for Marik, shocked by the size of the store. Aisles of everything from cooking supplies to tires lined the store from almost top to bottom. Ryou had to close Bakura's mouth for him, since it had dropped open in amazement. Marik leapt around the store with a smile, pointing out the giant sale signs, and poking all the smiley faces announcing them. "Here're the cameras! I want at least twelve!"

"How about two for you, Marik, and one for your friend?" Ryou's father offered.

Marik laughed and piled three into the cart. "You don't have to get me one too, Mr. Ryou's Daddy, sir." Bakura said. He wasn't charity!

"I think I do, Bakura. You'll want your own pictures of America and if Marik used up a whole roll of film on Walmart..." He let Bakura come to his own conclusions about that, who agreed to the camera for himself. "Come on boys, we have a few more things to buy."

"Like the fireworks!" He ran over to the pile of fireworks and started pulling them out of the stack. "Marik, come help me!" Marik ran over and helped him pile a lot of fireworks into the cart.

"...We'll put them back later, son."

* * *

"Listen up, kids!" Ryou's father yelled a few days later. It was the Fourth of July, Independence Day, and a half hour before the party. "Now, Mr. and Mrs. Solenocera are very good friends of mine, but Ryou has told me you two are troublemakers." 

"...We are!" Bakura and Marik shouted with huge grins.

Ryou's father groaned. "However, my friends will not like it if you burn down their house, their dog, or their daughter. If you must light something on fire, let it be those." He waved a hand at the fireworks they had bought. "Nothing else."

Marik stood up. "On behalf of my white haired friend and myself, we shall both be on our not-worst behavior!"

He was about to object, but his son told him that was the best they'd get and that would probably be just fine. "Alright then. I'll call a cab."

* * *

"Welcome!" Mr. Solenocera boomed. "Come in, come in! The party's in the back yard; I'm sure your son and his friends will have a great time!" He walked them through the house and let the teens mingle with the other guests. 

"Ryou," Bakura whined, "when can we light the fireworks?"

Ryou said, "As soon as it gets dark."

"When'll it be dark?" Marik asked.

"When the sun goes down."

Bakura smirked. "When will the sun go down?"

"Later!"

"How much later?" Ryou smacked Marik on the back of the head. Bakura laughed loudly and Ryou smacked him for that.

"Stop annoying me!" Both boys cowered, frightened that he'd take the fireworks away. "Now-" But before Ryou could finish, two girls came up to them.

"Ryou, is that you?"

He blinked. "Excuse me?"

The younger of the two giggled. "Don't you recognize me? It's Kira!"

His face stayed the same for a moment, then he smiled. "Hey! I haven't seen you in years! Who's your friend?"

"Oh, this is Marge." The older one, Marge obviously, nodded.

"Do you want to come hang out with us? You two can catch up on old times."

Ryou nodded, then turned to the yamis. "Behave!" Afterwards, he walked off with the girls.

"Ryou'll be okay, right?" Bakura asked.

Marik shrugged. "It's Ryou. Those girls will get bored of him quickly."

Bakura laughed loudly. "So true. What do you want to do while we wait?"

"...We could go raid the food stash."

"Master Thief Bakura strikes again!" They ran off to the food table.

* * *

"'Master Thief Bakura'?" Marik snapped, "Sure you are! That's why we got caught!" 

"Hey, hey! It's not my fault that baby started screaming when we took his lollipop!"

"Idiot!" He almost said something else, but Bakura interrupted.

"Look! It's dark out!" He looked up and saw countless stars.

They ran up to the porch, passing Ryou and his new friends, and grabbed their fireworks. While Marik started setting up a few of them, Bakura stood up on a table, grabbed a glass, and started banging it with a fork. People's heads started to turn. "Now that I have everyone's attention! My best friend Marik and I will be lighting..." he looked down at Marik, "How many fireworks do we have?"

"...About twenty."

"Right." He looked back up. "We will be lighting twenty fireworks for your pleasure and our pyromanicisum!"

"Is pyromanicisum a word?" Someone yelled.

"Hey, did I just say it? YES! So it's a word! Deal with it!" He sprang off the table and landed near Marik.

"Okay, I recounted the fireworks. We _had _twenty-one, but you just landed on one, so we only have twenty now."

"See my masterful planning skills in action!" Marik just sighed and put on of the big rocket fireworks in a baseball batting tee. "Light 'er up!"

Bakura pulled Shawn from his pocket. "CLEAR!" He flicked the lighter on and lowered the flame to the wick. He pulled Marik away from the rocket and they grinned as the wick burned out.

"I don't think it wor-" BOOM! "...Yeah, it worked."

"Good work, Bakura!"

Ryou ran down to them, staring up. "You two lit a tree on fire!"

"I know! I aimed it pretty well, didn't I?"

"YOU AIMED IT AT THE TREE!" He ran back to the adults, who had the fire department on the phone.

"Let's do another!" Marik shouted.

"Hold on a second." Bakura gave one of his cameras to someone standing behind them. "Get some pictures of us with this firework." The person nodded, too scared to deny. He grabbed a roman candle style firework and aimed it at the now flaming tree. "Your turn to light it, Marik!"

Marik took Shawn from Bakura. "CLEAR!" He lit it and Bakura smiled as the flaming balls made the tree burn more.

"This rocks!" They both heard sirens soon after.

"You two are dead!"

* * *

"What...possessed you two...to light their tree on fire!" Ryou stood next to his screaming father. 

"We wanted to see if tree were flammable..."

Ryou made a loud noise. "Wrong answer, Bakura! Try again!"

Marik raised his hand. "Can I try?" Ryou just glared at him. "Okay, I will. We got carried away!"

"That sounds about right." He left the room and his father sighed.

"Just feel lucky the Solenoceras aren't going to press charges. Now you two sit here and think about what you've done." The older man left too.

"...This jail cell is uncomfortable."

"Shut up Marik."

* * *

Hikari: ((pauses for breath)) Okay, I shook Yawi off my trail for a minute. If anyone can guess why Ryou introduced Bakura like he did, you get a piece of birthday cake! But it's pretty hard... ((Yawi sneaks up behind her))I'm sure Yawi wouldn't say no to a present...  
Yawi: ((grabs Hikari)) Got you! ((drags Hikari off)) REVIEW! 


	5. August

Yawi: It's two hours until midnight on the last day of August. You cut this too close!  
Hikari: ((crys)) I don't care! They don't deserve it!  
Yawi: Oh...This is about the whole "one-review" thing, right?  
Hikari: Right! Disclaim, NOW!

Yawi: Fine, fine. Hikari of the Moon owns the plot, me, and herself. Nothing else. GOT IT?  
Hikari: I dedicate this chapter to Marjon, for being my only reviewer last chapter, and Largo, for being the best beta ever!

Beta's Note: Tell this fine author lady to put robocop in as a main character. It'll make it EVEN BETTER.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ryou stalked towards Bakura, a murderous look in his eyes. A rolled up sheet up paper was in his hand. An envelope lay mutilated on the ground and Bakura didn't doubt that he was next. He backed up, somewhat slower than his approaching lighter half. Ryou's mouth opened, anger showing in his eyes, and Bakura heard what he'd dreaded for three months.

"YOU FAILED THE YSAFI TEST!" He curled in on himself while Ryou screamed on. "And no wonder! According to the report, you _slept _through the math portion-"

"I wasn't asleep! They asked me how long it would take a boy to DIE on a rocket car! I couldn't answer that!" Bakura recoiled as Ryou slapped him with the paper.

"NO EXCUSES! You also only answered _one _of the critical reading questions-"

"It was _Shawn_! How could they mistake a lighter for a welding torch!" He muttered.

"-And you got less than twenty percent of the social studies questions correct." Ryou waited for a second. "What, no snappy comeback?"

"Nope. I just guessed based on the letters in their names." He shrugged. "I didn't know any of it!"

"Well fortunately, I have a deal to make with you." Ryou watched Bakura's shoulders tense and his body shift. "You get two choices. Choice one: No knifes, lighters, computer, TV and I take your Reno poster."

"And choice two?"

-----------

"...This is cruel and unusual punishment." Bakura was standing in front of a mirror in a clothing store, modeling a new outfit. It looked like Ryou's school uniform, but black with a logo on the left lapel. Even if you didn't know him at all, you could still tell he wasn't happy.

Ryou stood behind him, a smirk planted firmly on his face. "Hey, you picked it."

"You didn't give me a choice!" Bakura yelled.

"Actually, I did, Bakura. Remember? You chose this."

"But this is torture!" He screamed. "A uniform? A boarding school? Ryou, WHY?"

Ryou shrugged. "Because you're stupid and I'd like some time to relax while not having to worry about having to bail you out of jail!"

"...That ryhmed." Ryou snorted. "And you say Marik and Yami are coming too?"

"Yup. Yami actually wanted to go-"

Bakura stepped down from the stool he had been standing on and interuppted. "That's just like Yami. Wanting to go 'someplace new'! Well, I don't like it! They won't even let me wear my own clothes!"

"Think of it this way, then. You'll have Marik with you. And nobody there knows how much trouble you two cause. It could be a fresh start."

"OR a place full of helpless victims to our evil genius." Bakura smiled ferally. "You know, I think I could get used to that idea..."

-----------

"So it's in northern Japan?" Bakura asked. He was lounging in the living room with him, holding some papers about the boarding school.

"_It _has a name, you know, 'Kura," Marik replied.

"What, the boarding school?" Marik nodded. Bakura gaped. "It has a name! Oh, and never call me 'Kura again."

"Yes, it does. And I thought you didn't care about 'Kura. I thought it was Baku you didn't like."

"...No, you're right, it is Baku I don't like. So what's the school called?"

Marik picked up another paper. "According to this, Kudzu Academy for Boys."

"Pretty funny name."

"Yeah, I know, but we're going to have to put up with it."

"Who names their school after a plant?"

"They do, I guess. It really thrives in the southern USA."

Bakura threw a pamphlet at Marik. "Smart aleck...How's your uniform?"

"Stiff," Marik groaned, "and tight. But at least we'll all wear the same thing."

"How's that good?" Bakura asked.

"Everyone will know how annoying it is!"

Bakura sighed and leaned back. "Why do we have to _go!_ Why can't they just send us to a public school like they go to!" He looked over at his partner in crime. "How did they get you to go?"

"They threated to kick me out...and burn my Kadaj poster. You?"

"No knifes, lighters, computer, or TV and burn Reno."

They both sighed and said as one, "We're doomed." Then they both sat up and screamed, "I'm taking my poster with me though!"

-----------

"Okay guys, only one more hour to go!" Ryou announced. The yamis in the back seat groaned out different complaints; all of them were loud and pained. Ryou giggled. "Thanks for coming on the drive with me, Yugi," he said to the boy in the passenger seat, "I don't think I'd be able to resist crashing if I didn't have you here."

Yugi blinked. "Wow, they annoy you that much?"

"Nope, a lot more than that!" Ryou smiled. "You're so lucky to have Yami. He's so kind..."

"SHUT THE HECK UP, STUPID IDIOTS!" Yami screeched. Ryou jumped and his hands flew off the steering wheel. The car swerved. "RYOU! CAN'T YOU DRIVE! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!" His hands grabbed the wheel and he wrestled the car under control.

Yugi smirked. "What do you think about him _now, _Ryou?"

"I think...I almost had a heart attack...Yami is more like Bakura and Marik than I thought."

"I AM NOT LIKE THEM!"

"WE ARE NOT LIKE HIM!"

Yugi and Ryou looked at each other and sighed.

"Bakura, Yami, Marik, why don't you all find something you have in common and bond? The school doesn't know about your rivalry and maybe you can team up and do whatever." Yugi suggested.

"Well, we all like Egypt." Marik said.

"We all like to duel, no matter how bad Bakura is at it." Yami smirked as he talked.

"And we all like to torture things when our hikaris aren't around!" Bakura waited for Yami to object. He did.

"I do not!"

"Yeah, you did before Yugi got you whipped! I remember when you made people think trash and leaves were money, lit people on fire, and electrocuted them with stun guns!"

"Says the pyro who lit a guy in a bunny suit on fire."

"Hey," Marik interuppted, "Don't forget about that tree in America! Those guys have really uncomfortable jail cell..."

Yami sighed, but said, "I'll consider helping." He looked up at the front seat, made sure Yugi and Ryou weren't listening, and leaned close to Bakura's ear. "Anything to get out of this school. I don't want to spend days listening to boring teachers. I want to duel, play video games, and take advantage of other pointless modern day excitements all day!"

Bakura smirked. "Marik," he whispered, "we have a third compainion in crime."

"This school won't know what hit it." Marik whispered back.

Yami leaned into the huddle. "What should we do first?"

"Bakura and I are gonna be roommates, so you can come to our room once the hikaris leave and we can plot."

"Alright!"

"Fourty-five minutes to go!" Yugi yelled back.

"THANK GOODNESS!" All three screamed.

----------

Ryou grinned widely. "Here we are, guys. Kudzu Academy for Boys." He manuvered the car into a parking space and the moment he did, the yamis burst out of the car.

"FRESH AIR!" Marik screamed.

"ELBOW ROOM!" Bakura yelled.

"SHUT UP!" Yami yelled at them.

Bakura glared, but then the glare dropped from his face and he draped an arm over Yami's shoulders, leaning in close to his ear. "You know," he whispered, "I'm the boss of the little evil party. You aren't Pharaoh anymore. With us, that's my job."

Yami sighed. "Fine, you're boss."

Yugi and Ryou blinked at the 'touching' scene. "They're... getting along?" Yugi said, stunned.

Marik shrugged. "Hey, that's what happens after you make us spend five hours in the same car with only one stop!"

"Oh. Well, guys, let's go check you three in." Ryou suggested. They all agreed and started the walk up to the monumental academy.

In the years to come, this day would be described as the calm before the storm.

------

"Name of student you're checking in?" The check-in lady asked, chewing her bubblegum. They had gotten inside, dragging luggage along with them, Bakura and Marik holding tubes they refused to let go of, and Ryou had found where to check in. While Yugi said goodbye to Yami, and it would be a long good-bye, Ryou got to work.

"Actually, we're checking in three students." He said with a smile.

"Fine. Name_s_ of student_s_ you're checking in?" She cracked her bubblegum as she spoke.

"Yami Mutou, Orbis Bakura, and Marik Ishtar." He watched her flip through the list of new students.

"Yeah, I see them." Her gum cracked again. "Yup...They here?"

"Yes, they're here. Can we please leave them here?"

"Yeah, sure, just tell me their names so I can check them off."

Ryou sighed. "Yami Mutou." He waited, she checked it off, and he continued. "Orbis Bakura." She snickered.

"_Orbis?_"

"Our parents liked Latin, okay? Just check it off!" She nodded and checked it off. "Marik Ishtar." That one was checked too.

"Okay, boys with last names A-L go over there," she pointed behind her and to her right, "and the M-Zs go over there," she pointed behind her and to her left then. "Good bye! Next person in line please!" Ryou walked back to Yugi and the yamis, just in time to catch the very end of a tight hug, and Bakura and Marik getting elbowed in the gut for pretending to gag.

"Okay, Bakura, your first name here is Orbis. Don't complain! Just get people to call you Bakura. Won't be hard, considering I know you'll have people bowing at your feet within the week. You and Marik, walk that way." He pointed where the girl did. "And Yami, you go over there." He pointed where she did the second time. "Yugi, let's go back to the car."

Yugi sniffed. "Bye Yami! Oh, and goodbye Bakura! Goodbye Marik!" The two hikaris turned and left them.

Yami looked both his new partners in the eye and nodded. "See you guys later?"

"Our room, later tonight. Just ask around if we can't tell you later." Marik said, a smirk riding on his face.

Bakura nodded. "I can't believe we're getting along...But once we go to our leader-guy," he said, waving an arm at the places and people his light had told them to go to, "we'll be Yami, Marik-"

"-And Orbis!" Marik interrupted and laughed.

"-And _Bakura,_" He snarled, "We'll rule the school. Now, move it, Yami!"

Yami turned, took a few steps, then looked over his shoulder. Once again, he was on the dark side. And, as he continued to walk, he realized he'd never felt the same rush this side gave him when he was good. He liked it.

-----

"Alright scrubs, listen up!" The man leading the A-L kids was pretty tall, well-built, and had cold eyes. The kind of man who wouldn't take troublemakers unless they worked for him. "My name is Leon and I'll be your guidance counseler this year."

"You'll need it!" Marik yelled.

Leon smirked. "Those of you who know someone else here are rooming with them. Those who don't, are rooming with a stranger. I'll call you up by your last name. Adams, H."

Bakura leaned against Marik. "You know what? Here, we're strangers. Here, we're lost in the crowd. Yami's on our side for once. You know what this means?"

Marik smiled. "It means that until we get expelled, we're going to have a few great mont-"

"Bakura, O."

"Sorry, bud, that's me." Bakura smiled. He pushed off of Marik and strided up to Leon.

"Here's your room number. Deal with it. Bambino, S." And just like that, Bakura was given a sheet of paper which listed his classes, room, and rules, and was shoved into the sea of bodies moving into the dorms. He kept one eye looking back for Marik, one looking the other way for Yami, and another watching where he was going. Unfortunately for him, humans don't have three eyes and he ran into someone.

"Hey, watch it, punk!" Yelled the upperclassman he bumped into. "Just who do you think you are?"

Bakura smirked. "I am a thief and a stealer of souls. And soon, I will be your king." With that, he saw Yami making his way through the crowd and he went to greet him.

"What?"

"Hey, what was that about?" The older boy's friend asked him.

"Just some crazy goth kid." He laughed. "If he'd stuck around, I would've clobbered him!"

"Yeah, for sure!"

Walking off, they didn't notice the glare being given to them by the blond Egyptian. If they had, maybe they wouldn't have joked. Maybe they would have. But Marik knew that once they took over, those two would be first on the chopping block.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Yawi: This will be continued in September. ((gets a piece of paper from Hikari)) Hikari says reviews are like clapping, only instead of saying you believe in faeries, it says you believe in the writer. Aww, how deep! I'll be doing review replies this chapter.  
Hikari: And name any references you find! You get a cookie for each one.  
Yawi: Yes, that's a bribe.


	6. September

Hikari: ((is drooling on the sofa))  
Yawi: ((stares at the computer screen)) We get one review for July, then FIVE for August!  
Hikari: ((sits up)) YAY! I LOVE YOU ALL!  
Yawi: ((smirks)) Hikari, you're getting sorta better.  
Hikari: Only sorta?  
Yawi: I'm a yami, I can't complament you!  
Hikari: Disclaim!

Disclaimer: Hikari of the Moon owns only a few things. Herself, Yawi, and the plot of this story. She also owns the principal, Leon, and the assistant teacher.

Hikari: Oh, and Marjon, I hope you like Malik's role in this chapter! And guys, this chapter is around one thousand words longer than last chapter. Don't get used to it, though, I'm never typing this much again! (And look for my beta's cameo if you want to!)

* * *

Weeks passed. Days of gathering supplies, gaining knowledge, and studying. Lots of studying. It was a school, after all. Kudzu Academy for Boys, called KAB by the faculty and students, was a renowned school for turning slackers and troublemakers into hard-working, law-abiding students. And they knew, without a doubt, who they would worry the most about. Orbis Bakura. Who hated anyone who called him by his first name; the teachers learned quickly that you called him "Bakura" or you didn't call on him at all. Leon leaned back in his chair and sighed. That boy...He was the bane of the guidance counselor's existence. He could normally crack any student's walls, figure out what made them tick, and fix them, but Bakura simply had no visible weakness in himself. 

His lackeys, however, were a different story. Yami Mutou and Marik Ishtar. Leon didn't know much about the first, since he reported to the other guidance counselor, but could assume enough. He guessed that they weren't good friends before, but something had brought them together. They made a good team, though, always seeming to know what the other would say. It was as if they spent hours scripting what they would say, although they couldn't have. Yami had a big pride, and it could get the best of him, but it wasn't good enough for Leon to pick at.

It was the other lackey, Marik Ishtar, that seemed to be Leon's best choice to get them to back down. While Yami and Bakura got closer, Marik got more violent, more disruptive, and more guarded in their sessions. He knew Marik had started more than a few fights in the hall for the stupidest reasons. Leon knew exactly what Marik was feeling. He looked to be jealous. Leon had hinted many times that Bakura was better friends with Yami than him and he always either changed the subject or defended himself against the assault. It was too easy, Leon thought, far too easy to get the boy to stop Bakura's attempt to disrupt the school's delicate balance. He wouldn't even have to do anything. Just watch the events roll on and fix whatever didn't fall the right way. "Yes," he said to himself, "Just sit back and watch the fun..."

--------------------

Marik stalked down the halls. He shoved anyone would stood in his way, and when one boy didn't move, he snarled and almost bit the kid. He couldn't stand all the happiness the other kids were feeling when he was so miserable. He'd just finished a tutoring session--no, he was the one being tutored--and he was angry. After storming into his and Bakura's room, he almost started crying. Bakura was off plotting with Yami...again. He threw himself onto his bed and looked up at the poster of Kadaj he'd put on the wall. So what if Bakura didn't want to hang out with him as much anymore. They were getting more friends, that was all, they weren't growing apart...but in his heart, Marik knew he didn't believe that. He thought Bakura was leaving him, like Malik had left him in the Shadow Realm after Battle City.

"He wouldn't do that," Marik told Kadaj, "He's my best friend. I'm his best friend. We're best friends! Yami means nothing...Right?" He waited for the poster to respond, but it wouldn't.

He looked over at the Reno poster hanging over Bakura's bed. "And you!" He flung himself off the bed and stormed over to glare at the poster. "You! You're Bakura's poster, you tell me what's going on! What's Bakura doing!"

"He's walking into his room, watching his roommate yell at Reno. Reno doesn't deserve it." Marik turned around quickly, only to see Bakura standing at the door. "Why are you yelling at Reno?"

"...Kadaj told me to! He threatened me with the blackberry jam!" Marik lied.

Bakura laughed. "Ah, yes. And since your poster threatened you with jelly, you yelled at mine." He smiled mockingly. "Of course, Marik, of course." He walked over to his bed and sat. "Oh, and if you'd like to tell me the _real _reason, I'm all ears."

Marik smiled back. "That was the reason! Kadaj can be very persuasive."

"Sure. Now say sorry to Reno."

"Sowwy Weno." Marik mocked.

"Okay, Baby Marik!" Bakura exclaimed. They both laughed and Marik wondered how long it would last.

"Bakura, are you ready to go?" Marik looked to the door. Yami had been standing there and was now walking to Bakura's side.

"Yeah, ready, Yami. Just getting my wallet." He stood, opened his side table's drawer, withdrew his wallet, and they started to walk out.

"Bakura?" He stopped and looked back at his friend. "Where're you two going?"

"Just out shopping for more supplies." Yami said.

"We would've invited you, but you always complain and make me do it, so I figured you wouldn't want to." Bakura added.

Marik faked a smile. "Yeah, I don't want to. Have fun." They nodded and walked out of the room, closing the door behind them. Marik ran to the door and pressed his ear to it. He could hear Yami talking, and then Bakura laughed. "Yeah, have fun with your new _best friend_, Bakura." Marik sighed. What a rotten day.

----------------

"Alright, troops, we have work to do!" Bakura almost yelled. Almost, because he feared that someone else would hear. "It's time for our weekly status report and plan review. Marik, you start."

Marik stood from his chair and walked to the other side of the table. Bakura sat down in Marik's chair as he started to talk. "All right, well, I've been studying the teachers I have, which is most of our year's, and I think our plan has them labeled correctly."

"...That's all?"

He stopped himself from glaring at Yami. "Yes, Yami, that's all I have for this report."

"Yami, what do you have to say?" Bakura asked, carefully avoiding the fight.

Yami and Marik traded places, leaving Yami standing and Marik sitting. "The supplies are coming in nicely. No one suspects anything. We have about two-thirds of them and the last third we should be able to pick up next weekend. Then we can get the plan into motion."

Bakura smiled. "That's great news, Yami!" Bakura leapt out of his chair and stood at the front again.

"Okay, listen up guys. Marik, this week, you'll make sure the teachers don't get in the way. Yami, you'll have to make the supply run on your own this weekend. Can you still get everything?" Yami nodded. "Great. I'll scope out everything again, make sure nothing's changed. Case dismissed!"

His lackeys stared at him. "That means Yami, go back to your room, the meeting's over."

Yami stood back up and, with a good-bye, left the room.

"Bakura?"

"What, Marik?"

"I think that the guidance counselor's taking an interest in you."

Bakura scoffed. "Of course he does. I'm the school scourge." He was quiet for a minute. "Marik?"

"Uh huh?"

"Watch out. That guy might be trying to get at me through you and Yami." He sprawled out on his bed. "Why didn't you bring this up while Yami was here?"

Marik shrugged. "Mr. Leon's not his guidance counselor. Just ours."

"True. Thanks for the heads-up."

"It's no problem, Bakura..."

------------------

Marik stalked the halls once more. Leon watched the carnage from his office, knowing it was probably because he was coming here. The door flew open and he glared at Leon. "I have to be here, right? I can't leave?" Correction, it _was _because he was here.

"No. You're mine until the session's over. Sit." He waved at the chair and Marik plopped down onto it. "Now, how's your week been?"

"Bad, okay? Can we end this?" Marik glared and Leon wasn't feeling too good about it. But it'd be somewhat easier than some of the other kids.

"What is so bad about it?"

"Everything!"

"Well, tell me about one thing in particular you don't like."

"One? Hmm...The teachers!" He leaned back in the chair, pushing the front legs off the ground and balancing on the back ones as he yelled. "They're always talking about things I'll never need to know! Like the square root of some huge number and how it's...like, 92!"

Leon looked down at his calculator. "8464?" He saw Marik look interested for a moment. "It's just math, Marik. Maybe you're just having problems learning."

"No! The teachers go out of their way to make my work hard! They're all 'Marik, stop daydreaming', 'Marik, don't write on your desk', and, oh, my favourite, 'Marik, don't light your classmate's hair on fire'! It's aggravating!'"

"Well, why do you do those things?"

"Because I'm bored! All they do is talk, talk, talk!"

"They're _teaching_."

"So? It doesn't matter! They should just let us do what we want. I mean, Bakura spends his time dreaming and no one interrupts him!"

"That's because they're afraid he'll put a snake down their shirt."

Marik smiled. "He knows how to do that kind of stuff and he's fine." The smile turned into a scowl while he said, "We took a test back home, he flunked it miserably, and he gets to come here and rule the school with Yami!"

Leon brightened. That was something he could work with. "Well, maybe it's not a problem with the teachers. Maybe it's a problem with Yami."

He hit the right spot with that. Marik leaned forward and stood so fast his chair fell down behind him. "Of course I have a problem with Yami! He...He's taking up all of Bakura's time now! He didn't even _like_ Yami before here; most of our pranks were against him in particular, but now he's all buddy-buddy with him!" He sat down on the floor and pouted. "Now they've got this master-plan that they don't even let me help with..."

"If they won't let you help, Marik, why not just stop the plan and frame Yami?" He said it softly, but sharply. Marik looked over his shoulder and sighed.

"But if I do that, he'll hate Yami, and they're getting along...Wait!" He jumped up. "I just remembered! I don't care!" He smiled again. "Thanks Mr. Leon!" Then he ran from the room, ending the session just like that.

"Now, he should work it out on his own." Leon whispered to himself.

His next student walked in shouting, "Hey Mr. Leon! Robocop and I are ready to tell you all about this week!"

He just barely stifled a groan.

---------------

"You stalled him just long enough. Cut me some slack, why don't you?"

"Hey, Bakura, you scoped the place out, right?"

Bakura nodded. "Yeah, I got it. It's gonna be a tight fit with the hose, but it'll work."

"Great." But Leon's words echoed in his head.

---------------

Bakura climbed out of bed, late at night, and mumbled, "Dang...Why does it have to get so dark at night?" He stumbled out of the room and to the common bathroom.

Marik opened his eyes from his pretend slumber and looked up at his poster of Kadaj. "Man...How am I going to stop this thing? We've been working on it for weeks and nothing could go wrong..."

He could have sworn Kadaj winked at him. "I must be going crazy..." He whispered before rolling over. Then he looked up at Bakura's Reno poster. "Either of you have ideas?"

And then, after a minute or two, one came to him. A moment later, Bakura walked back in so Marik had to close his eyes and dream the rest of his plan.

-------------

"So, everyone know what to do?" Bakura said, holding his newly "acquried" pointer like a sword. It was finally the time to put their plan into action. The moonlight shone into the room, illuminating the meager amount of supplies they'd spent almost two months gathering.

"Yes, sir!" Yami and Marik replied.

"Good! Then go to work!" They jumped up and all three gathered the tools they would use and left the room.

Marik's job was to tap the water line into the hose they'd gotten. That way, they could flood the school ventilation system and the school itself. It was sort of...over-done, but Bakura reasoned they wouldn't anticipate it because it wasn't unique. That was the kind of thing Bakura could do, Marik reasoned. Plus, it hadn't cost them too much. He walked down the hall to the boiler room.

"e-Excuse me. Where are you going?" A teacher's assistant asked.

"Where I'm going. Why?" Marik asked, using his most Malik-like voice.

"Well, I-I heard there'd be some t-trouble around h-here..." He stuttered. Marik recognized him then. That was the new one on the block; scared of the students. He wasn't strict at all which was why he normally helped the rougher teachers.

"Oh, don't worry. I'm here to make sure nothing happens." He smiled sincerely. "Why don't you go take a little break?"

The assistant nodded. "O-Okay...Thanks." He dashed off. Marik's smile turned into a smirk. He was sorta sorry for the guy, but shrugged it off. "Man, I'm being super emotional here...Curse you, KAB!" He yelled to the roof as he flung open the door and stormed down the stairs. "What're they doing to us here?"

Reaching the bottom, he walked around the stairs. The hose Yami left was sitting under them innocently. He would to use the tools they'd, well, Yami and Bakura had bought, to attach it to the school's water line. He looked around. "Perfect," he said. And got to work.

Time flew by.

It was done, finally. He looked down at his watch. "Eleven already?" He'd been down here for two hours! "Rats, I'm late!" Marik darted up the stairs, holding the end of the hose. Before he could touch the doorknob, though, it opened.

"You were down there too long," Yami snapped, "You almost ruined the whole thing! Luckily, I went over a little too, so you're fine." Yami took the hose from his hands and ran back down. It was his job to get it hooked up into the vents. Marik smirked.

"Oh Yami, you're about to fail." He started the long walk back. As he did, he passed that same assistant. "Hey," he said, grabbing the man's arm, "Warn everyone not to let the stuff in the vents drip on them."

He blinked. "W-Why?"

Marik smirked. "I heard there's a kid, Mutou I think his name is, in the boiler room messing with the plumbing."

His eyes lightened. "T-Thanks! I-I'll get someone to stop him. Thank you!" He turned and ran to get someone to stop them.

Marik ran after him, running down to where Bakura was supposed to be about now. It only took him a few minutes to get there. Bakura was lying on his back, weaving the hose through some pipes.

"Bakura! Bakura, stop!" Marik screamed.

Bakura sat up sharply. He banged his head on a pipe. "Marik? What was that for?"

"No time! Yami told one of the teaching assistant's about our plan!"

Bakura started pulling himself out of the gap. "How did he do that? He said he wouldn't!" Once he got out, he snarled. "That Pharaoh...He just wanted to ruin it! He must've been planning that the whole time!"

They ran back to their room, half excepting to be called out. Marik threw the door open. "What do we do?"

Bakura shrugged "Only one thing to do," he said, "Leave!" Marik nodded. They franticly started to pack, throwing clothes, books, and everything else they'd brought into their suitcases. The very last thing was to carefully pull their posters off the wall, roll them up, and put them into their protective tubes. "Got everything?"

Marik nodded again. "Let's go." They grabbed their stuff and walked out of the room calmly. It was around midnight by then. Water was flooding the floor. Teachers were running through the halls trying to find where it was coming from. Bakura laughed.

While Bakura was distracted by the chaos, Marik saw two familiar faces. The upperclassman that called Bakura a 'crazy goth kid' on the first day and his flunky. He stalked over. "HEY! STUPID AND STUPIDER!"

They turned to look at him.

"They responded to that? Wow." Marik thought. Out loud, he half-yelled, "I can't believe you guys helped that Mutou punk!" A few seconds later, they got tackled by half the students in the hall, all of them screaming at the two.

Marik snickered. "That...was fun."

"Sweet!" Bakura grabbed Marik's arm. "That was great, man!"

"Yeah!"

They just didn't notice the principal listening to them.

-------------

The phone rang. Yugi stirred, waking up slowly. He grabbed the phone. "Urrr...Whazzit?"

"What? Yami did that?"

"NO! Aw man, I'm really sorry."

"Yes, I'll be over to get him in the morning. I'll carpool with Marik and Bakura's brothers."

"Sorry, Orbis's."

"Yeah, good night to you to." Yugi hung up and dialed Ryou's house. "Ryou? We have to go pick up our yamis now...I think they got expelled."

-------------------

Five hours later, at four-thirty in the morning, around eight hundred boys and assorted faculty members all stood in the parking lot, three of them with luggage. A car drove into the parking lot, and before it stopped, the driver jumped out of the car. "MARIK! BAKURA! YAMI! GET OVER HERE! YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!"

Bakura and Marik turned. "Uuhh...Hi Malik..." Marik said.

"Hi Malik? HI MALIK? THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELVES!"

"MALIK ISHTAR!" Ryou and Yugi were running up to Malik, having just gotten the car parked. "IF YOU WANT TO JUMP OUT OF A MOVING CAR, DON'T BE THE DRIVER!" Ryou screamed.

Yugi just sighed and took a few pictures of the moment. This was something he wanted to remember.

"WELL YOU GUYS WERE SLEEPING!"

"I DON'T CARE! IF YOU HADN'T WOKEN US UP BY RUNNING OVER THE CURB, WE COULD'VE DIED!"

While the two of the hikaris yelled at each other, Yami walked over to them and yelled Marik, "WHAT DID YOU BLAME ME FOR!"

"BLAME YOU?" Bakura yelled back, ignoring the fact that he wasn't talking to him. "YOU TOLD THEM IT WAS US!"

"I DID NOT! MARIK TOLD!"

"MARIK WOULDN'T DO THAT! YOU POMPOUS PHARAOH!"

"THIEVING SLAVE!"

"THAT'S IT!" Bakura grabbed a stick on the ground, pulled Shawn out of his pocket, and lit it on fire. "EAT FIRE, PHARAOH!" He threw in at Yami.

"...MY HAIR'S ON FIRE!" Yami ran around, franticly trying to put it out.

Yugi giggled and kept on taking pictures.

"Okay!" Malik said, "I'm sorry I jumped out of the car while driving it."

"And I'm sorry I yelled at you." Ryou said back.

"NOW GET IN THE CAR!" They both yelled at the yamis.

Yugi grabbed Yami. "You too. And put your hair out. It sets a bad example."

Yami cried, "I swear, I'll never be evil again!"

Ryou walked up to the principal. "I'm sorry, sir."

"Well, good." He replied, "We'll send you a check for the rest of their tution."

"Thank you."

--------------

A few feet away, Leon was thinking. "On the plus side, I got them out of my school. On the down side..." He sighed. "They ruined all my leather boots!"

* * *

Hikari: So, everyone like?  
Yawi: Obviously! Otherwise, they won't be at the end!  
Hikari: Okay everyone, review!  
Yawi: But Hikari won't be able to reply to your review over the weekend because she's going camping! So laugh at her and her ability to take caramels to camp! In a review! 


	7. October

Hikari: ((dressed up like an Egyptian Princess)) Guess what holiday we're doing!  
Yawi: ((dressed in a black shirt, leather pants, and has fabric sewn on like wings)) They'll never guess, my light. If they can guess...They're smarter than you.  
Hikari: Yup! ...Wait, was that an insult?  
Yawi: ((smirks)) Disclaimer.

Disclaimer: Hikari of the Moon owns only a few things. Herself, Yawi, the plot of this story, the people giving out candy, and the cashier. She also does not own Reno or Kadaj of Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. Nor does she own Axel of Kingdom Hearts. However, Hikari believes Roxas owns Axel, so she wouldn't even try to own him herself.

Hikari: Interesting disclaimer this time, isn't it? Hmmm...

* * *

It wasn't something either of the boys had expected. But one day while walking through the mall, who had just recently lifted their ban against them, Marik had seen a sign advertising Halloween costumes. 

"Bakura? What's Halloween?"

"It's...Uh...It's...A holiday!"

"About what?"

"Don't know, really. We could go ask the hikaris!"

Meanwhile, Ryou and Malik were watching TV at Ryou's apartment, since Malik was grounded --"And keeping him in the house would be punishing myself," Ishizu had said. Just when their show was getting good, Bakura and Marik ran in demanding their hikaris tell them what Halloween was.

The hikaris explained.

The yamis got only two things out of it.

They were going trick-or-treating. And they needed costumes.

Oh, and that they were going to get free candy. That too was important.

-----

"Bakura! For the last time, I haven't been trick-or-treating in ages! I don't remember how!" Ryou said. He was lying. Bakura had been bugging him about that for days.

"Oh, come on, Ryou! You can't forget!" Bakura whined.

Ryou sighed. "Bakura, go ask a kid." With that, Ryou grabbed Bakura's shirt, threw him out the front door, and locked it.

"Sure! Kick me out! Fine!" Bakura scowled and left the apartment building without mishap. He nodded to himself. "Find a kid and ask him about the finer points of trick-or-treating. Right...Because," he shouted as he started walking down the street, "That's not creepy at all!"

"Hey! You with the face and the bad dueling deck!" Bakura turned around to see a black-haired girl yelling at him.

"WHAT?"

The girl walked up to him. "Talking to yourself isn't good, you know. First sign of insanity."

"Funny. The American cops said the same thing."

The kid extended a hand. "Mokuba Kaiba."

"...Isn't Mokuba Kaiba a boy, though?"

"I am a boy!"

Bakura laughed. "Not with that hair!"

"Like you can talk, GRANDPA!"

"Oh, now it's ON!"

A blond bullet tackled him before he could do any damage. "BAKURA! No attacking little kids!"

Bakura looked down at the blond clinging to his waist. "Malik! It's Mokuba Kaiba!"

Malik looked at Mokuba and squinted. Then walked around him, studying him very carefully. After he did that twice, he looked at Bakura and shook his head. "Nope, it's not. I'm pretty sure Mokuba's a guy."

"FOR THE LAST TIME, I _AM_ A GUY!"

Malik laughed. "Yeah, and I'm a girl."

Mokuba smirked. "Your taste in shirts says the same thing."

"MY SHIRTS ARE STYLISH!"

"For a girl."

"THAT'S IT, YOU'RE DEAD!"

"Malik? What did we say about attacking little kids?"

"That was just for you!"

Mokuba turned around. He took a few steps away from them, making a move to leave, but Bakura noticed. "Mokuba! I have a question."

Mokuba turned back to face him. "Yes, you do look like an idiot."

"Not that! How do you trick-or-treat?"  
----

"Okay," Mokuba instructed, standing in front of a giant specialty store, "First we have to get you four costumes!"

"Why're we even here?" Ryou whispered to Malik.

Malik shrugged. "Because there's nothing on TV we haven't seen." Ryou laughed.

"Did I say something _funny_, punk? 'Cause I don't think I was!" Mokuba snapped.

"...Are you sure you're twelve?"

"Yeah, but I'm also a Kaiba."

"That would explain it." Ryou nodded. "I'm sorry. Continue."

"As I was saying, costumes are the most important thing in trick-or-treating. I've seen kids get more candy because their costumes were cool. Myself being one of them." He smirked as he ushered everyone into the store. "Now, look around. If you see anything you like, give it to me. If you find out you want to be something else, tell me and I'll look for supplies. I'll pay for anything."

The moment "I'll pay" passed through Mokuba's lips, Bakura and Marik screamed and dashed off through the store with a shopping cart, throwing anything scary, creepy, or expensive into the cart. Mokuba watched with mild interest.

"They're going to run you broke, Mokuba!" Malik shouted.

Mokuba shrugged. "I could buy everything in the store and Big Brother wouldn't even notice. Help yourselves."

Ryou and Malik looked at each other, slowly smiled, and walked down the first aisle.

"Do they always do things in pairs?" Mokuba thought before running down a third aisle.

----

"RYOU!" Bakura came running down his lane, holding a black shape in his arms. "LOOK!" He held it out to Ryou. "It looks like that cloak from that game that character wore!"

Ryou blinked and took the cloak. He turned it around in his hands. "I see...But fourteen different characters wore this outfit, so which one-"

"The fire guy!"

"Oh, Axel. Yeah, it does look like his cloak."

"You go as him!"

"wh-What?!" Ryou stuttered. "You can't pick my costume for me!"

"But Ryou! I'll go as Reno and you go as Axel and we'll look the same! ...Sorta!"

"...I'll think about it."

----

Meanwhile...

"NO! NO NO NO NO NO!" Malik screamed at his yami and the kid, "I AM NOT GOING AS...AS _THAT!!_"

"The only difference between that and what you're wearing now," Mokuba said, "Is wearing a skirt, veil, and stick-on jewels instead of pants. You can even keep the golden jewelry and earrings!"

"b-But I'll look silly..."

"Malik," Marik said, putting a hand on his shoulder, "You can't look any sillier than you did while I was in America."

"How did you-"

"Ishizu got pictures." He smirked. "Now are you going to wear the costume or not?"

Malik sighed and slumped against his yami. "I have to now, don't I?"

"Mokuba, let's get the accessories." Marik and Mokuba ran to the jewelry section, leaving Malik sprawled on the ground. He groaned and sat up.

"Couldn't he've let me stand on my own before running off..."

----

"Okay, everyone, listen up," Mokuba said while the cashier-lady checked their items out, "You've got your costumes. That's the hardest part of the holiday preparations. Now, when you get home, make sure your costumes fit, get a bag or pillowcase for candy, and a bar of soap."

"Why the soap?" Marik asked.

"You'll see if we need it. You and Bakura can go with me. Ryou-"

"That's fine." Ryou interrupted, "I should stay home for a little while. Kids come by my place too and leaving a bowl of candy out where anyone can get it doesn't feel right."

Mokuba nodded. "Great. And Malik-"

"Oh please no!" Malik whined. "I am not leaving the house dressed like...like that!"

"Sirs?" The cashier said. "Your total is-"

Malik started crying. "I AM NOT DRESSING IN THAT!"

Bakura nodded. "You are. I have copies of those pictures too."

"I am going to kill my sister!"

"Good for you!"

"Sorry about them," Mokuba said while he swiped his credit card, "They don't know how to go out in public without making a scene."

"That's okay." She said as she sighed dreamily. "That white haired one's kind of cute."

Mokuba made a face. "I don't care."

"Oh!" She blushed, realizing she said that out loud. "Sorry, sir. Please come back soon for all your Halloween needs." She handed him his bags and they left.  
----

"Twas the night of Halloween and all through the home-"

"-All the crazies were writing a Halloween tome."

"What's a tome?"

"It's a written thing," Ryou said, "Like a book." He was dressed up as Axel from the video game, Kingdom Hearts II. The black cloak he'd bought was paired with newly-red spiked hair and a black upside-down triangle under each eye. In each hand was a chakram, a circular weapon with spikes around the edge.

"Then why didn't you say book?" Bakura was dressed as Reno from Final Fantasy VII. He kept complaining about the goggles on his forehead, but refused to take them off, saying "Reno wouldn't take them off!". He'd gotten a dress shirt and a formal jacket and kept them untucked and unzipped. His hair was also red, courtesy of the hair-paint Mokuba had pointed out at the store, and tied back in a ponytail.

"Because 'book' doesn't ryhme with 'home'."

"It could!" Bakura jumped up from the couch. "I'll get it!" He ran to the front door and flung it open to reveal Malik looking embarrassed and Marik about to touch the doorbell. Marik was dressed as Kadaj, in honor of Bakura's costume. After all, if Bakura could dress up as his poster, Marik could too! He had gotten some temporary silver paint for his hair and had, somehow, smoothed it down. The leather was a nice touch...and probably borrowed from Yami. Only, he doesn't know it.

Malik was almost ready to cry. He was dressed up as a belly dancer...a female belly dancer. Complete with a skirt, a veil over his face, and jewels around his bellybutton. Bakura stared at the jewels. "Bakura!" Malik whined. He ran into the house and hid behind Ryou. "Ryou, make him stop! I'm only dressed like this because they blackmailed me!"

"Bakura, I will throw one of _these_," he said while he shook one of his fake chakrams in the air, "through your _head_ if you keep freaking out Malik!"

"Ryou!" Marik smiled. "You've actually got a spine! I'm so proud!" He pretended to wipe a tear from his eye.

"I think it's the costume...I feel like I want to hug every blond teenage boy that walks by."

He nodded. "Yup. That's the costume!"

The doorbell rang again. "Oh! Trick-or-treaters!" Ryou grabbed the bowl of candy he'd filled and opened the door.

Mokuba stood there holding a Halloween themed bag. "Trick or Treat!"

Ryou smiled. "You look pretty cool, Mokuba."

Mokuba smiled too. He was dressed as a robber. All in black, with some reflective tape Seto had made him wear, and had a bandanna over his nose and mouth. "Thanks. I wanted to go as a gangster, but Seto wouldn't let me leave the house wearing gold. Something about a kidnapping risk..." Marik and Bakura sniggered. "You two'd better come here now. AND GIVE ME SOME CANDY ALREADY!" Ryou jumped and put some candy into his sack.

Marik and Bakura ran foreward. "Let's go!"

"Oh, and Malik, nice skirt. Finally, the rest of your outfit matches your shirts."

"Sorry, kid, too humiliated to trade insults tonight." Malik grabbed some candy from Ryou's bowl. "I'm gonna stay here for a while and help Ryou with the kids."

"See you guys later then!" Ryou called as the three trick-or-treats walked out the door.

----

"Soo...Exactly how does this work?" Bakura asked.

"Simple. You ring the doorbell and say 'trick or treat'."

"Then they give us candy?" Marik asked.

"No, then they have a choice between giving us a treat or getting a trick played on them."

"Then they give us candy."

"If they choose treat." Mokuba said, "And most people do. Actually, practically all of them."

"THEN THEY GIVE US CANDY!" Marik jumped up and down on the sidewalk, gaining stares from the people walking near them.

"Come on, Kadaj, let's go." Bakura said.

"Yes sir, Turk sir!" Marik said back. Bakura gave him a funny look and after a pause, they both started laughing.

"...I have got to get that game..." Mokuba muttered as they got to their first house. "Okay, guys, I'll ring the doorbell." He reached up and...DING DONG.

The door opened to reveal a black haired woman dressed like a bat. "Trick or treat!" The boys said.

"Nice. Taking your little brother out for candy." She commented as she dropped three pieces of candy into Mokuba's bag, two into Bakura's pillowcase, and two into Marik's backpack. "Have fun." She then closed the door on them.

"See, guys?" Mokuba said with a smile. "Candy."

"But..." Marik said. He reached his hand into his backpack and pulled up the two pieces of candy. "They only gave us two!"

"Well, you don't get all the candy in one house. We have to go to a lot of them. It'll only take around an hour to get some good stuff!"

"YAY!" Marik jumped again and raced down the stairs. "Come on, guys! We have to get going!"

Bakura smirked. "Onward, to candy, zo, to!"

Mokuba just stared at him. "What was that?"

"It's like Reno's catchphrase...I think." Marik hollered.

"I have _really_ got to get that game!" Mokuba said.  
----"This is getting old." Bakura whispered while they waited for the door to open about fourty-five minutes into the hunt for candy.

"No it's not," Marik replied, "It's fun."

The door opened. "TRICK OR TREAT!"

A plump woman glared at them. "Listen you teenage punks," she scolded, "You're not getting any of this candy. It's for the real trick-or-treaters! Now scram!" She slammed the door in their faces.

"Hey, Mokuba?" Marik said, surprisingly happy for someone who didn't get the candy he'd wanted so badly.

"What, Marik?" Mokuba said.

"Since they didn't give us treats, does that mean they chose trick?" He asked.

"Actually...It does." Mokuba pulled a bar of soap out of his pocket. "You guys did bring soap, right?"

They both pulled out soap. "Good, now follow my lead." He ran around to the side of the house and started writing in soap on the window. The yamis did the same.

"Why soap, Mokuba?" Bakura asked while drawing a pony on the window.

"Because it's hard to get off." They pocketed the soap again and walked back to the street to continue the fun.  
----

"Hey guys," Mokuba said after another half hour, "I've got to get home now. Can you guys walk me? It's only a few blocks away."

"Sure." Bakura said, "You helped us get enough candy to last a week for less than we normally spend in a day. It's the least we could do!"

"Or want to do!" Marik added.

"Thanks."

They walked the blocks, ignoring all the houses, and in a minute they got to the Kaiba's "house". With a flash of his ID card, they got past the front gates, where guards gave candy to the trick-or-treaters so they wouldn't get too close to the "house".

"You guys have a HUGE house!" Bakura stared at it. "It could fit Ryou's apartment, Marik's house, and most of Egypt's houses in it! With room to spare!"

Mokuba laughed after he rang the doorbell. "I know. Seto's big on that. It makes an impression."

"What impression?"

"The impression that if I murdered you, I could hid the body in my house and your family wouldn't be able to find it for weeks." Seto commented, leaning against the now-open door.

"You didn't dress up?" Bakura asked.

"Yes he did!" Mokuba said with a smile, "Show them, Seto!"

Seto smiled. And showed off a pair of fake vampire teeth. "Surprisingly, my old outfit looks just like a vampire's outfit, according to Mokuba, anyway."

Bakura and Marik nodded, half to agree and half because they wondered if he'd bite them.

"Thank you for bringing my brother home." They smiled. "Now get off my property before I sue you for trespassing."

And the yamis ran from the lawn, back to the safety of the streets.  
----

"So," Malik asked, "how was the night?"

The yamis had gotten home around ten. Their hikaris had left a note saying they'd left at eight-thirty, and since the yamis left at seven fifteen, when it got dark, both groups had been out for a while.

"Great! We should do this more often." Marik said.

"We can't," Ryou said, "It's a holiday. Once per year."

"Awww!"

"Cheer up, Marik! We've got candy!" Bakura exclaimed.

"How much did you guys get anyway?" Malik asked.

"This much." And the yamis opened their bags.

"Wow..."

Malik groaned. "Oh no!"

"What's wrong, Malik?" Ryou asked.

"If they have that much candy..."

"Yeah?"

"...Then they'll eat that much candy..."

"...And?"

"And be on sugar-high for weeks!" Ryou groaned too. Bakura and Marik laughed and began eating their candy. After all, the sooner they were hyper, the sooner Ryou and Malik would feel their wraith. Or something like that.

* * *

Hikari: The cashier-girl will play a role in Feburary! Along with any of my adoring fans who want to!  
Yawi: Some restrictions apply. Open to signed reviewers who before this chapter was published had reviewed two or more time. Please PM for more details about that and to apply.  
Hikari: ((coughs)) Do you have to sound like a disclaimer? Anyways, REVIEW! 


	8. November

Hikari: I'M SORRY THIS TOOK A LITTLE TOO LONG!  
Yawi: You didn't even finish the first scene until the 25th!  
Hikari: I know! I'm sorry! I was horrible with the last update and now...((hides from angry fans)  
Yawi: Hikari, you can't hide from what you don't have! 

Hikari: ((sticks her head out of her "tent-of-protection")) I don't own Yugioh. I own myself, my yami, the plot of this story...Oh, and I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Axel, Roxas (who owns Axel's heart, I'm sure), OR Jesse McCartney and his song "Anybody", whose chorus is used in this chapter. And yes, I do know the line is "_God, I know this can't go on forever!_", but I'm applying creative license here! ((hides in the tent again))

-----------------------------

Picture the scene. Bakura's in his room, getting dressed for the afternoon. No, he's not changing his clothes, he just got up! And he learned how to get dressed all by himself. What a smart yami!

"Bakura!"

He's also learned to come when his hikari tells him to. It's one of those things. Yamis come when hikaris ask them to, and yamis don't get their heads ripped off when they do something stupid. So, he ran out of his room, came crashing down the stairs with his pants half on, and landed at Ryou's feet.

"Good, you're dressed. Marik's here." Ryou stepped out of the way and revealed Marik to Bakura. He then walked into the living room, leaving the yamis in the awkward silence.

More silence...

...even more silence...

...Even more--

"...Are those Duel Monsters on your boxers?"

Okay, silence broken.

Bakura scoffed. "No! They're...They're..." He stood quickly and finished pulling up his pants. "Why are you looking at my underwear anyway?"

"Because your pants weren't on all the way and I could blackmail you with it." Marik stated.

Bakura shrugged. "Makes sense. So what're you doing here?"

Marik smiled and jumped up and down. "I'm here because Ryou called my WHOLE family here! Malik and Ishizu and...and that bald guy are all here!"

"Why," Bakura said, "are they here?"

"Ryou has an announcement!"

"RYOU! SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU HAD AN ANNOUNCEMENT?" Bakura blinked a few times. "Wait, since when have you known what announcement means, Marik?"

"Since Ryou said he had one."

"...You don't know, do you?"

"Of course not! If I knew stuff...I wouldn't be me!"

"Yes, you and Malik have that 'not-knowing' thing down to an art."

Malik leaned into the hall. "I do too know stuff!"

Bakura snorted. "Yeah, like what?"

Malik hid a laugh. "Like you look so silly snorting! You're a barnyard all in one! The piggie, the horsie and the sheep!"

Bakura blinked. "I sound like what?"

Malik smiled. "A pig 'cause you snort, a sheep because of your hair, and a horse because...well, just because!"

"Malik? Go take a long walk off a short twenty-story building."

He paused for a moment before replying. "Bakura, if it's twenty stories high, it's not short."

"Leave me alone, I just woke up, and I need a cookie." With blinks from Marik and Malik, Bakura walked into the kitchen, grabbed a cookie from the cookie jar, and went into the living room.

Ryou smiled, even though the blonds came running into the room and sat down on the couch. "Now that Bakura's _awake_, we can get started." He cleared his throat and began.

"As you know, my father has American friends. And when I was a little kid, my family used to celebrate an American holiday." Bakura and Marik laughed, but a glare from Ryou shut them up. "So, I figured, since we went to America, and since I consider you guys my family-" Malik choked on air, Marik and Bakura stared, Ishizu blushed a little, and Odion did nothing in response, "-I figure we should celebrate it together. As a chance to bond, and get to know each other, and spend the night apologizing for all the junk the yamis do each year."

"Hey!" Bakura jumped to his feet. "Trying to flood an entire school is not junk! If that stupid Pharaoh hadn't messed us up, it would've worked! That's not junk!"

Malik gave Marik a look that said 'You didn't tell him that was you yet?'

"SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!"

'I don't have a death wish, light.' Marik's look replied.

"MAKE ME!"

Ryou walked up to Bakura and slapped him across the face before returned to the front of the room.

"...He hit me." Bakura sat down and turned to Marik, his face already gaining a red handprint. "_He_ hit _me_." He then looked at Malik. "He _hit_ me."

"As I was saying before he interrupted, the holiday I mean is called Thanksgiving. It has more meaning to the Americans than this, but basically, it's a time to give thanks for everything you have with your family and friends."

"That sounds very sweet, Ryou. We would be honored to join in the festivities." Ishizu said.

"Great!" Ryou beamed. "Now, here's what we need to do..."

---

The morning of the 23rd had arrived with a chill and four men wondering what they were doing.

"Don't worry, guys," Ryou had said, "Ishizu and I will take care of the cooking."

"And not just because we don't want you to mess this up." Ishizu had added.

"Now, there's probably an American football game going on. Why don't you watch it?"

Which brings us to now, with Malik, Bakura, Marik, and Odion watching the Tampa Bay Buccaneers play the Dallas Cowboys.

American football, in case you didn't know, is a very complicated game. It mostly involves many guys in pads throwing a deformed-looking ball at each other, sometimes kicking it, and said guys tackling each other. A lot. There are rules, but as far as the yamis could tell, it was violent, reckless, and only succeeded in hurting people.

Definitely their kind of game.

"Marik, hurry up, they're doing a kick-thing!"

"It's actually a PAT."

Marik almost dropped the bowl of popcorn he had just made. "Odion can talk?"

Said man glared. "Yes, I can talk."

Malik gaped too. "And you actually know what they're doing?"

"Yes, I do."

"What's an pat?" Bakura asked.

"PAT," Odion groaned, "It means 'point after touchdown'. It's what the team that scores a touchdown does to see if they can tack on an extra point."

"...Which team scored the touchdown?" Malik asked. Odion could feel a headache forming.

"Dallas."

"Those are the cowboys, right?" Marik asked. Odion nodded. "Well, they're better than the boot-can-ears!" He shouted, "GO COWBOYS!"

Odion glared. "Get out."

Marik blinked. "Huh?"

"NO ONE CHEERS FOR THE COWBOYS IN THIS HOUSE!" And Odion, literally, threw Marik out of the room. Bakura raced out of the room to check on his friend.

"...Odion, why'd you get so mad at him?"

"Because I'm a Redskins fan." And as if that had explained everything, he left to get some pain-killers.

Malik shrugged and stole some of Marik's popcorn. It's not like he needed it.

----

"Man, I wish I had my popcorn right now." Marik said with a sigh.

"You don't need it," Bakura snapped. "Now, how are we going to ruin this Giving-Thanks idiot fest?"

"We could blow up the turkey."

Bakura blinked. "And _how_ are we going to do that?"

Marik smirked. "I still have a firework leftover."

Bakura smirked too and rubbed his hands together evilly. "Excellent. Ryou wanted an American holiday and that's what we'll give him."

"Bakura, why are we messing up Ryou's holiday? I think it means a lot to him."

"He slapped me!"

"That was three weeks ago!"

"...He never said he was sorry!"

"Yes he did! Right before I left, he said he was really sorry but this meant a lot to him! Remember?"

"...We're doing it because if you don't, I'll put blackberry jam on your head."

"OKAY, OKAY I'LL DO IT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

"Good to hear!"

---

"OKAY, OKAY I'LL DO IT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

Ryou blinked from his spot making mashed potatoes. "Should we be worried?"

Ishizu looked over at him. "Yes, but let's not be."

They returned to cooking.

---

Malik and Odion were currently watching their third football game of the day. Well, Malik was, anyway. Odion wasn't paying attention. Too sad because the Cowboys had won. His "brother" however hadn't cared as long as he had something to do while his sister and friend cooked. It was almost time to eat, they had announced, but they were just finishing up. Yet, something was off; Malik had a feeling something bad was about to happen. And then, it did.

"_Has anybody ever felt this way?_" Malik jumped up and turned around. Marik was standing in the doorway that led to the hall, and he was...

"_Has anybody been ripped apart?_" ...Screaming.

"_Anybody give everything to the one they love?_" Scratch that.

"Marik! Stop singing!"

"_Am I the only one left behind?_" Marik continued, watching Bakura sneak into the kitchen out of the corner of his eye. Why oh WHY was he the distraction?

"_Am I the only one who _hates_ good-byes?_"

"MARIK!"

"_Ra, I know this can't go on forever!_" Malik stood up and approached his yami.

"Marik, why are you singing Jesse McCartney?"

Marik smiled. "Because Ryou introduced Bakura to his daddy as Jesse McCartney's best friend, and I'm Bakura's best friend, so I'm Jesse McCartney, right?"

Malik groaned and wondered exactly why he got the mentally-challenged yami. "Marik, you moron," he scolded, "It was a game reference!" Marik blinked, not getting it, so Malik continued, "Jesse McCartney did Roxas's voice in a game Ryou likes and Roxas's best friend was Axel. Axel was a pyromaniac, only he wasn't really 'cause Disney worked on the game, and Bakura's a pyro too! So he was telling his dad Bakura was a pyro without letting EVERYONE know!"

Marik smirked. "Didn't Ryou go dressed as Axel for Halloween?"

"Yes, he did. That was only three weeks ago!"

"So Ryou went as Bakura's best friend, but I'm his best friend, but he didn't go as me, so I'm not his best friend?"

Malik sighed and tried to explain it again.

Meanwhile, Bakura had reached the kitchen. The turkey had just been removed from the oven and, since Ryou had been watching cooking shows all week, the stuffing was being made separately from the turkey. Which left a gaping hole perfect for, say, a firework?

Oh yeah!

Bakura snuck up behind his hikari, being careful to stay out of his and Ishizu's lines of sight. He stealthily slipped the firework deep into the cavern of the turkey, ducking to stay away from Ishizu.

"Ishizu, I've got the squash!" Bakura flung himself backwards to avoid Ryou. He would've sighed with relief, but he knew he wasn't out of the woods yet. He darted from the kitchen and snuck back up the stairs. After a beat, in which he calmed himself, he walked down the stairs again.

"For the last time! JUST BECAUSE AXEL'S G--"

"Are you two _still_ arguing over that?" Bakura casually asked.

Marik turned around and winked at him. "Nope! I understand I'm not Axel! Or like him at all! Otherwise, I'd be hugging Malik!"

"And thank all above you aren't!" Malik said, "Now, I'm going back to watch the game!" He stormed back to his couch and plopped down, instantly zoning out the crazies.

"So," Marik whispered, "Was Operation Scalding Fowl a success?"

"Yes, it was," Bakura whispered back, "but we are never codenaming our plans again."

"But that sounds so cool! It's fowl by name and fowl by nature!" Marik laughed at his own joke. Bakura was this close to slapping his partner when his hikari poked his head out of the kitchen and announced the good news.

"Dinner's ready!"

How four men could make such a noise rushing to the dining room, Ryou would never know.

-----

The dining room table was decorated with fake leaves, a turkey figurine, and other stuff that reminds people of autumn. The two members of the Bakura family and the four members of the Ishtar family were sitting around the table, with Ryou at the head.

"Everyone, before we eat, there's one last thing we should do." He said softly.

"Have a food fight?" A few glares shut Malik up quickly.

"We all need to say something we're thankful for. I can start, if you guys want." Everyone nodded. "Well, I'm thankful for my apartment, my dad, my yami, and you guys." He smiled and nodded at Malik, who sat at his right.

"I'm thankful for...well...Oh! I'm thankful for friends and family who'll cook for five hours straight!" Ryou and Ishizu blushed at the compliment.

"I am thankful for the fact that I live above ground!" Ishizu said simply. The other Ishtars nodded in agreement.

"I'm thankful for my family's safety and for football." Odion said quickly.

"I'm thankful for Shawn."

Odion looked at Ryou. "His lighter." Ryou added. Bakura leaned forward, holding Shawn, and did the final part of Operation Scalding Fowl.

"And I," Marik announced, "am thankful for explosions. Like the one we're about to have!"

Everyone had time to just look confused-- or in the yamis' case, duck-- before the firework inside the turkey exploded.

When the smoke cleared, turkey bits and bones were everywhere. For color, other dishes had been knocked off the table and into other things. Ryou's hair, for one, was a delightful shade of puke tan, courtesy of the stuffing.

"THAT'S IT!" The normally calm Ishizu screeched. "YOU TWO ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!" She reached under the table and pulled the yamis up. By their ears. "YOU WON'T BE SEEING DAYLIGHT FOR MONTHS!" She dragged them into the living room, ignoring the screams of pain.

"..." The three remaining men stood stock still. Until one broke the quiet.

"Aw man! How come they didn't let me help?"

Somehow, it felt wrong to laugh at Malik. But they did anyway.

"My...my dinner!" Ryou raced out of the room, crying; Malik ran after to help him recover.

Which left Odion, standing in the middle of the wasteland.

He sighed. "I'll get a mop."

--------

Hikari: ((climbs out of the tent)) Okies, lots of ending notes. One, the quote "Fowl by name, Fowl by nature" doesn't belong to me. However, if anyone can name where it comes from, I shall give you a prize to be named later!  
Yawi: Here's a hint. It's from a book.  
Hikari: ((shy smile)) Two, I hope you guys don't mind all the Kingdom Hearts II junk I put it these last few chapters. I've been in the Kingdom Hearts section waaay too much recently. Third, please review! Contact with you guys gets this done in two days!  
Yawi: Thanks to a certain reviewer who PMed Hikari with a nudge to get it done and the reviewer who put Just Anyone on their favourites list. You two got this written.  
Hikari: Fourth, still taking applications to be in this fanfiction! All reviewers who have reviewed twice before October 23rd, PLEASE send in your favourite Yugioh character that's appeared in the story and something to give him!  
Yawi: And fifth, is anyone interested in Hikari writing side-stories to this? Like how Bakura got Shawn, how they got the posters, what's up with Marik and blackberry jam, etc. Please tell us if you'd like that.  
Hikari: Sorry about the author's note length; I really had a lot to say! PLEASE REVIEW!


	9. December

Hikari: This turned out...  
Yawi: You can't say it turned out well, can you?  
Hikari: ((sighs)) Nope, can't. You see, I was having trouble getting it out because one of my muses was moping. But he got drunk, so I could get it out!  
Yawi: We send special seasons greetings to a dear friend. Since we're stressed and more relatives are coming over even though we just kicked the last bunch out, this is your Christmas present. You know who you are, and frankly, everyone else will know too, once they get far enough in the chapter.

Disclaimer: Hikari of the Moon does not own Yugioh. She also does not own A Christmas Carol, which this chapter is _horribly_ parodying. See, we can do short and simple!

Warning: Past scene is sad. Don't worry, though! Everything else is at the normal level of humor! ...Hopefully.

* * *

Now, although Bakura was excited and happy about most-every holiday so far, he was not happy with Christmas. The lights, the merriment, the fuzzy feeling you get when someone wishes you a Merry Christmas...Bakura _hated _it. And when Bakura hates something, everyone knows it. Literally. Random people walking down the street who'd never seen him before knew he hated something. 

"It's just so stupid!" Bakura had yelled at Ryou on this fateful night of Christmas Eve.

"It is not!" Ryou had yelled back.

"BAH HUMBUG!" Bakura had shouted, "IT'S STUPID! I'M GOING TO BED RIGHT NOW!"  
And he ran up the stairs, leaving Ryou alone with his Christmas cheer.

-----

"Stupid Christmas..." He said as he got changed into his pyjamas. "Stupid everything!" Bakura dove into bed and quickly fell asleep.

What felt like moments later, he was woken up by the sound of chains.

"Urrr...Go away..." He mumbled, trying to go back to sleep.

"Orbis Bakura..." The voice rang throughout the room.

Bakura sat up sharply, instantly awake. "Who goes there?"

A shimmer appeared in the middle of the room. From that shimmer, stepped a figure with chains tied to his wrists and ankles. As the shimmer faded, the figure spoke. "Orbis Bakura..."

He shuddered. "Marik?"

Indeed, the chained man was Marik. Or, at least, looked and sounded like him. "This night, Orbis Bakura, you will be visited by three spirits. If you do not change your horrible views about Christmas by the end of the night, your fate shall be sealed."

Bakura faked a yawn. "Okay, so I deal with two more idiots and I can run free? Great. Night, Marik."

"_Three _spirits, Orbis, you moron!"

"Stop calling me Orbis! And I know you said three! You and two others!"

"NO!" Marik yelled, "THREE _MORE _SPIRITS!"

"Fine, fine! Three other spirits! Great! More fun! ...Wait, why're you dead, man?"

"...Freaking boating accident?"

Bakura raised an eyebrow. "You don't own a boat."

"Yeah, I do! I got from here to Egypt on it!" Marik said with a nervous chuckle.

"You threatened the boat's real owner if he didn't let you use it, you'd -----." If what Marik told the man he would do to him was typed out, this fanfiction's rating would have to go up. So use your imagination!

Marik blushed, or at least, Bakura thought he did, and looked around the room. "Oh, look at the time, almost midnight! Your first guest will be here any minute now! Take care!" And with that, the air behind him shimmered again and he stepped back into the shimmer. Well, not really. He tripped over one of the chains on his ankle and fell into the shine.

"Just goes to show: Too much bling is bad." And with that, Bakura leaned back and tried to fall asleep. Until one thought hit him. "How is Ryou not up here yelling at me for yelling, anyways?"

"Actually, I am up here." For standing in the middle of his room was his hikari. He literally glowed with a light so bright, it might've blinded Bakura if the clothes weren't blocking it. "But I'm not yelling."

"Ryou? What're you doing here? And what's with the dorky Duelist Kingdom outfit? I thought I told you to get rid of it!" Bakura snapped.

Ryou smiled shyly. "It was the only thing heavy enough to keep this stupid light from blinding me."

"So it's be blind or look like a dork? Ryou, hikari, go blind." With an evil grin, he got out of bed. "So, why exactly are you here?"

Ryou's smile turned from shy to evil pleasure. "That's easy. I'm here to show you the Christmases of your past."

"Fat chance," said Bakura, "Christmas wasn't around in my time."

"No, but it was around in _our_ time."

And with a confused look on his face, Bakura was swept away by a fierce wind. Swept into memories of the past.

-----

_"Koe! Stop it!" Ryou sat on his bed, crying fiercely. "Stop it stop it STOP IT!" _

_Bakura blinked. Ryou was standing next to him right now, and yet, he was also infront of him, younger and crying. "What's going on?" Bakura asked the Ryou of his time._"We're in one of your memories," Ryou explained.

Bakura wondered where his memory-self was, then remembered. He didn't have enough energy back then to create even a spirit-like form, but he still terrified Ryou. Maybe not being able to see him made it worse for the boy. Ryou hadn't even known who Bakura was, which was why he referred to him as "Koe". "Koe" meaning "Voice", of course.

_"This stupid hope you're clinging to doesn't work!" Bakura shouted in Ryou's mind. "Hope means NOTHING!" _

"Mommy will_ come back!" _

"NO SHE WON'T!!"

_"You don't know that!" _

"She doesn't love you! She took your stupid sister and left! THEN they got hit by a truck!"

Little Ryou curled up into a ball. "No...She's not dead...Not dead, Koe..."

"And the worst part is," Bakura continued, "Your father's leaving you too. He's disgusted with you for not going with them."

"Daddy..."

"What does _this _have to do with Christmas!" Bakura snapped, not wanting to hear anymore. He'd changed his ways shortly after the incident in Egypt concerning Yami's past and didn't want to be reminded of how he'd used to be.

"Don't you remember, silly?" His time's Ryou smirked. "It's Christmas Eve in this memory. Imagine, the only present I remember getting on Christmas this year was knowing that my whole family was leaving me, all alone, with a deranged voice."

"Ryou!" Bakura said, "You know I'm not like that! Show me something else!"

Ryou's smirk grew wider. "So you don't want to see how you were? But this is how you acted in the present."

"What're you _talking_ about!" Bakura asked.

"You were acting like that towards me just this evening." Ryou reminded him.

Before Bakura could say anything against it, Ryou's light began to flicker. And flicker. Until, eventually, it faded; even though there were lamps turned on and moonlight coming in through the window, the whole room was plunged into darkness.

When the lights returned, it was because Bakura opened his eyes. The room was perfectly lit and there was no sign that what had just happened with Ryou had happened at all.

"What was that?" He shook his head tiredly and climbed out of bed- "Wait, since when was I in bed?" He stood straight up and shook his head. "Bet Yami's messing with my head for revenge..." He grumbled and flopped back onto the bed for a moment's rest.

-----

And a moment's rest was all he believed he got, for after what felt too short to be anything _but _a moment, light flashed in the middle of the room and a young lady stood there when the light left. "Look, sir, I'm very sorry for the delay!" She bowed at the waist in respect.

"Delay of _what_?" Bakura snapped, leaping out of bed, "And who are you?"

"Oh! I'm Mischeif." She pointed at her shirt, which sported a name-tag saying so. "I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present's secretary. He's running a little late. Probably trying to hide his sugar high..." She trailed off.

"So, I really have to deal with another stupid ghost?" He asked.

Mischeif nodded. "Yeah. You deserve it though, the way you've been acting."

"And _how _do you determine that?" He snapped.

She shrugged. "_I_ don't."

Another light flashed and Malik appeared sitting on a pile of explosives and eating a stick of Pocky.

"Oh, Ms. Hyphen-Maker!" Malik smiled. "Thanks for holding down the fort!"

She smiled back. "No problem, sir!" And with a bell and a flash she disappeared.

"Can't you think of any other way to appear besides a flash of light?"

Malik shook his head. "Sorry man. It's what we were hired to do."

"Hired?" Bakura scrambled forward and grabbed Malik by the collar of his shirt. "Now listen here! You tell me what's going on or I tell Ryou you're the one who trashed his CD player!"

"Ryou's CD player's broken?"

"It will be if you don't start talking." Bakura snarled. Malik gulped.

"I can't say anything! It'll ruin the suspense!"

"Suspense?" Bakura groaned and pushed him away. "Okay, so Ryou will be blaming you for the CD player in a few days. What do you want?"

Malik smiled and struck a pose. "To show you what everyone else is going through this Christmas!"

"...I don't care."

"You have to care! Wait, not caring is what got you in this in the first place!"

"If you'll shut up for two seconds, Malik, I'll go with you."

Malik was quiet. For exactly two seconds. "Okay, did it, come on!" He grabbed Bakura's arm and whisked him through the wall to the living room.

-----

"What're we doing in my living room?" Bakura shouted.

"Secretly watching what Ryou's doing!"

"We're standing THREE FEET away from him! How is it secret?" He stomped the three feet that separated himself from his hikari and leaned down to put a hand on his shoulder...

...Only to fall on his face when his hand, followed by most of him, passed through Ryou's body.

"WHAT was THAT?" Bakura asked, jumping to his feet and climbing back from Ryou's crouched form.

"For the sake of _not_ terrifying people, we're spirits. Normal spirits," Malik added, remembering exactly what the "spirits" of Yami and Bakura had been able to do.

"Okay, sure, this isn't any more crazy than everything else that's been going on. I can deal." Bakura nodded. "So what's he doing?"

"Hmm..." Malik circled his friend, who finally stood up. "Oh! Nursing a cut. Looks pretty deep too."

Bakura started. "What?" He raced over to Ryou again and looked over his arm. It was covered in bleeding cuts and Ryou was trying to get to the kitchen, most likely to clean it up. "How did that happen?"

"I'll take a wild guess!" Malik said and pointed to the ground around where Ryou had been. Blue pieces of glass were scattered around the ground. "Maybe one of those thingies blew up."

"You're probably right," Bakura said. "And let me guess, it's my fault since I wasn't here to give him a hand?" Malik nodded. "Great, just great, you ghosts are all alike tonight. Can't I get _one _that doesn't try to help?"

Malik waved his stick of Pocky around angrily. "You don't want to be helped? Fine! We'll just skip the rest of my part and move straight on to the final ghost!"

Malik snapped and Bakura shot up, awakening in bed yet again.

"Okay, sleep, take four!" He announced as he fell back against his pillow and attempted to sleep.

-----

Emphasis on attempted, since he woke up just moments later to a black-robed figure sitting on the edge of his bed.

"You stole Ryou's Halloween costume," Bakura noted as he stood up.

The figure made no sound, just gestured to the window.

Bakura walked over to it and smirked. "What, no flash of light making another moron appear?"

The figure pushed him out the window.

-----

Back at the office of Christmas carol ghosts...

"YOU MORON!" The boss, known only as 'CD', yelled at the returning cloaked figure, "You were supposed to show him his future! Not push him out the window!"

Yami tossed back the hood that had previously covered his face. "His future _was_ me pushing him out the window. I saw no way to foreshadow that."

CD sighed. "You're fired."

-----

And back in reality...

Bakura woke up, for the last time, in bed. He got up and headed downstairs. He walked into the kitchen to find, as expected, Ryou wrapping up his cleaned arm in bandages. "Need help?" He asked.

"What're you doing down here?" Ryou asked back tiredly.

"I figured, I've been a real jerk these past few months, and with my dreams refusing to let me get a moment's peace, I should help out. You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine now."

"Anything I can do?"

Ryou just stared at him for a moment before smiling. "You could help me make the cookies we promised to take to the Ishtar's."

"Sounds good."

And so, Bakura learned the true meaning of Christmas. ...Wait, no he didn't! What he _really _learned was that being mean around Christmas gets you to change your ways. No matter how stupid those ghosts end up being.

* * *

Hikari: Anyone who can tell me who "CD" was will be mentioned in January's opening notes! ((dies from all the stuff she got for Christmas))  
Yawi: And Hikari learned the true meaning of having a deadline. Remember, if you'd like to appear in a later chapter of Holidays by Bakura, send in your favourite character that has appeared as an at least semi-main character and a few small gift ideas! Preferably not as your entire review. ...Why does that make it sound like a contest? ((shrugs)) Review and maybe I'll revive Hikari in time to write next chapter... 


	10. January

Hikari: Okay, so everyone remember that last month I said one of my muses was moping? ((you guys and girls nod)) Well, he refused to stop moping until two days ago. Which is when I finally could get back to work on this chapter!  
Yawi: You got the first scene done early in the month, though.  
Hikari: ((nods)) Yup. I hope you guys have had a happy 2007 so far. As I promised, thanks to the anon. reviewer, fire Foxe, who was the only one who guessed correctly that CD was Charles Dickens, the author of A Christmas Carol. So please enjoy the first new chapter of the year!

Disclaimer: Hikari of the Moon does not own Yugioh. She also does not own Pokemon, or Kadaj, Yazoo, or Loz from Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, which are mentioned, nor does she own any alcohol. However, it might be debated that she wrote this under the influence-  
Hikari: I DID NOT! ((smacks her disclaimer reader, who is Leon from September, aka her OC))  
Leon: How do we know that?  
Hikari: You trust me. NOW GET ON WITH THE FIC!

* * *

Ryou and Bakura were sprawled out on their couch, watching some DVD Bakura got from Marik for Christmas. Wrapping paper lay everywhere; a sign that Christmas had past recently and presents were opened with great vigor. It was currently the 28th and they were _just now_ coming out of their post-present comas. 

"Ryou?" Bakura groaned. He stood up and stretched.

"What, 'Kura?" Ryou mumbled his questions, his head buried under a throw pillow.

"Mokuba invited us to a New Year's party. On New Year's Eve. Can we go?"

Ryou yawned and threw the throw pillow off of him. And, completely on accident, at Bakura. "I guess so."

"Great." Bakura yawned as well and walked into the kitchen to fix some lunch.

Twenty minutes, one fire, and forty-two pieces of burned food later, Bakura and Ryou sat down for lunch. Both of them were finally awake enough to care that they hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday and ravenously ate their sandwiches.

"Bakura, what was it you were saying earlier about a party?" Ryou asked between bites.

"Waww, ish bean tuuun ah-"

"What?"

Bakura finished chewing and swallowed the mouthful of food he'd been trying to talk around. "I _said,_ it's being thrown at the Kaiba's mansion. We're both invited and I think he said the Ishtars were too..." He thought for a little while more, then shrugged and continued. He snarled, "I think most of the Pharaoh's minions are coming too."

"Bakura, if we go, you have to be nice to everyone. _Including _Yami," Ryou added.

"I do?" Bakura stood up and grabbed his plate. "Fine, but I won't like it!"

"And promise you won't pull off any pranks while you're there!"

"WHAT? Then what's the point of going!"

"Promise."

Bakura glared at him and mumbled, "Promise." Then set his plate in the sink to be cleaned and started thinking of how he could get around his promise.

-----------

Three days past in relative peace. Relative meaning about as much peace as there can be in their household. But the evening of the party arrived quickly and the two white-haired boys, both dressed in semi-casual clothing, meaning not totally destroyed or coated in leather, found themselves at the gate of the Kaiba mansion.

"We're here for Mokuba's party...Sir." Ryou stared up at one of the gate's guard, who looked at least twice his size. Bakura reached into his pocket to make sure Shawn was still there.

"Names?" The guard growled out.

"Ryou and Orbis Bakura."

"I hate my name," Bakura grumbled.

"All right, you two are on the list." He opened the gate and Ryou scurried down the driveway.

Bakura glared at him and smirked. "I could take you."

The guard smirked back. "I'd like to see you try, kid."

"Kid? I'm over three thousand years old! You're the kid!"

"BAKURA!"

A black blur streaked out from the steps of the mansion. In a few seconds, it tackled Bakura. He was barely standing, his thief's past giving him a better-than-average sense of balance. He looked down at it and smiled. "Hey Mokuba!"

The blur, aka Mokuba, looked up at him. "Come on inside! Everyone else is here already, you slow poke!"

"I am not a Pokémon!"

Mokuba stuck his tongue out at Bakura. They dragged each other back into the mansion, leaving the guard wondering exactly what kind of people the younger Mr. Kaiba hung out with. That was the second person claiming to be over three thousand that night!

-----------

"Thief."

"Pharaoh."

"Uncivilized brat."

"Pompous jerk."

"Idiotic slave."

"Murdering son of a jackal!"

Yami and Bakura glared at each other for a full two minutes.

"Thief."

"Pharaoh."

"Unci-"

"Okay!" Yugi grabbed Yami's elbow. "That's enough of talking to Bakura, how about we go say hi to Seto?"

Yami kept their glare up for a moment more before looking away. He mumbled, "He's a pompous jerk."

Bakura threw up his hands. "Now you know how I feel talking to you!"

Their eyes met for one more instant before Yugi pulled his dark away. Bakura sighed and walked over to the refreshment table. Marik stood behind the punch bowl, waving at everyone who passed by and giggling evilly every time someone took a cup of punch. Bakura raised his hand in greeting to his best friend and picked up a cup.

"Don't drink the punch," Marik whispered. Bakura blinked. "I said, _don't drink the punch_."

Bakura blinked again and looked down at the red liquid in his cup. "...Why?"

"Because!" Marik waited for Tristan to get his punch and leave. "I spiked it."

"You...put alcohol in the punch? At a party with," he looked around, "at _least_ thirty people? And without my help?" Marik nodded rapidly. "...I'm impressed. How much?"

"Enough that they all should start acting crazy!"

Bakura dashed around the table to stand next to Marik. "You, my friend, are my ticket to having a good time tonight!" At Marik's confused look, he clarified. "Ryou made me promise to not prank anyone while I'm here. So this gets me around that!"

"Cool! Now we just wait an hour or so for the alcohol to kick in!"

-----------

An hour later, three bowls of spiked punch were drunk and a group of "heroes" set out on an epic quest for more ice. People were making random comments about stupid stuff; there was a fist-fight over whether or not Swiss cheese floats; Joey was singing on a table with Seto Kaiba, who had a little more punch than most; and Bakura and Marik decided to have a little fun with these people.

They descended from their perch on a balcony overlooking the ballroom the party was being held in. Bakura gracefully floated down from the balcony, his hair flowing out behind him. He gently landed on the ground. Marik...jumped off the railing and landed on Joey. Seto pushed Marik off of Joey and they continued to sing. Badly, I might add.

"Bakura! Joey was standing in my landing spot!" Marik complained.

Bakura looked back at him and smirked. "Then maybe you should've picked a different spot to land on!"

Marik blinked. "Yeah, maybe. So, what're we going to do to these people?"

"First, I want to get back at Yami."

"I want to tick off Yugi!"

Bakura nodded. "Fine. Then, we can just run amuck."

"Let's go to it then!"

Marik ran off to find Yugi and Bakura ran forward and closed the gap between himself and Yami. "HEY! PHARAOH!"

Yami turned around and smirked. "Hey 'Kura," he slurred, "How many woodpeepers can fit into a deck box?"

Bakura smiled at just how funny that sounded coming from Yami. "I have no idea! But I know that if your hair is on fire, you get three wishes from the fire lords!"

Yami swayed on his feet. "Really?"

Bakura nodded. "Yeah!"

"How'm I gonna get my hair to burst into flame?"

He resisted the urge to laugh manically. "Lucky for you, I have Shawn in my pocket!"

Yami blinked. "You have a guy named Shawn in your pocket?"

"Shawn is my _lighter_," Bakura said as he pulled his trusted lighter out of his pocket. "So, you want those three wishes?" Yami nodded. Bakura smirked, lit the flame, and lowered it to Yami's spiky hair. It sparked and started to burn.

Yami started to walk off. Feeling like he wanted a little more out of this, Bakura kicked him square in the back. He fell over and started singing drunkenly, "Burn, baby, burn. Disco inferno! Burn, baby, burn..."

Bakura laughed loudly. Until he looked over to his right and saw Yugi with his shirt tied around his ankles, his hair covered in jam, and "DORK" written in permanent marker on his chest.

Then Bakura fell to the ground, laughing hysterically.

-----------

"I see you like what I did to Yugi."

Bakura, having spent the last three full minutes laughing on the floor, looked up at Marik, who was smirking down at him. "That was possibly the stupidest thing I've ever seen!"

Marik sniffed. "You liked it that much?"

"Yes!"

He reached a hand up and Marik pulled him off the floor. "So what now?"

"We go crazy on the rest of these poor souls."

Marik giggled insanely. "Yippie!"

---------

Bakura and Marik smiled, gazing up at the giant clock face Mokuba had dragged into the room during the beginning of the party. It was almost midnight, which meant it was almost the new year. Marik ran to the wall, unplugged the countless electronic stuff, and started to run up the many flights of stairs that led to their balcony perch. Bakura, using his Omni-Cool-Thief-Skills (patent pending), jumped up to it with a megaphone in hand.

"ATTENTION FOOLISH MORTALS! THIS IS YOUR FUTURE RULER SPEAKING!"

Everyone looked up at him in various states of confusion. He smirked. "It is almost the new year! And, as my hikari has told me, it is tradition to kiss your girlfriend or boyfriend at exactly midnight! Why you do, I don't know. But, if you have a girlfriend or want one, guys, find that girl! AND NO ONE BETTER GET NEAR RYOU!"

Marik finally burst out from the curtain behind him. "Why would someone get near Ryou?"

Bakura lowered the megaphone. "Some idiots keep calling him a girl. Just want to make sure no one does anything stupid."

"...Isn't that normally our plan? To do stupid stuff?"

"Yes, but would you want some drunk guy getting within three feet of Malik when I just told them to kis--"

Marik snatched the megaphone away from Bakura and shouted through it, "IF ANYONE TOUCHES MALIK, YOU'LL BE SENT INTO THE SHADOW REALM COVERED IN BLACKBERRY JAM!" He handed it back to Bakura, who smirked at him.

"Just because you have an irrational fear of blackberry jam doesn't mean everyone else does."

"It's not irrational and you know it!"

"FIVE!"

"Wow," Bakura said to Marik, "I didn't think-"

"FOUR!"

"-they had enough-"

"THREE!"

"-brain power left to count."

"TWO!"

"I guess." Marik replied.

"ONE!"

They shrugged and joined in the screaming. "HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Moments later, they looked down over the railing and watched their "subjects" celebrate. Marik held up a camera. "Hey, I'll set a timer on this, so we can get a picture of us being social!" Bakura nodded to him with a smile and jumped down. Marik set the timer for five minutes and couldn't hold back his own smile. He jumped down as well and joined in the fun.

-----------

Hours later, they collapsed on the ground with some of the passed-out guests. Sweaty from dancing, but thoroughly pleased with the night and morning's work. Marik looked over at his partner in crime and whispered, "What's your resolution this year?"

"Hmmm..." Bakura stared at the ceiling for a moment. "I...guess to make peace with Ryou. He's going to be leaving this fall for university or something. So, I should be friends with him." He smiled. "And to balance that, I'd like to torture the Pharaoh more. What about you?"

"That's easy. To get posters of Yazoo and Loz to keep Kadaj company!"

"That makes sense."

Marik nodded. "G'night, Bakura. Happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year."

-------------

The next morning, Ryou woke up with a massive headache and lipstick stains on his collar. He stood up shakily and looked around the room. He quickly found the other pair of white hair and staggered over to his yami. His head pounded more with every step and frankly, he didn't want to know why it did. He fell to his knees beside Bakura and smacked him. "YOU SAID NO PRANKS!" He quickly regretted the action.

Bakura opened his eyes and smirked at him. "I didn't. Marik spiked the punch."

"He spiked the...Oh why was I doomed to know you?"

"I don't know, but I bet it has something to do with Egypt."

Ryou groaned and buried his head in his arms.

"Happy New Year, hikari!"

In the thoughts of Ryou Bakura: "YEAH RIGHT!"

* * *

Hikari: Well, we've only got three more chapters after this!  
Yawi: And if you're quick, you can be apart of the fun! In your review, tell us your favourite Yugioh character who is at least a semi-main one in this fanfiction and a small gift or two for the guy.  
Hikari: Or girl if it's Mokuba.  
Yawi: Ha ha. Submit those requests by February 5th, aka next Monday. So, review or Hikari will make all the chapters as bad as this one! ((Hikari smacks Yawi; Yawi smacks Hikari back; Leon reminds you to **review **while they fight)) 


	11. February

Yawi: Could it be? A mid-month update? On Holidays by Bakura? Is this even possible?  
Leon: I have no idea. I haven't been around here long enough to know the norms. Is it?  
Yawi: ...No.  
Hikari: ((smiles)) YES, it's possible! I'm just lazy.  
Yawi: ((looks at the gathering mob)) Yeah, you might want to run.  
Hikari: Okay, but you have to do the disclaimer! ((starts running from people who are mad at her laziness))

Yawi: Sure, sure. Hikari of the Moon does not own Yugioh. Get over it. And if you gave the information Hikari wanted, your gift will be given to the characters now! You'll be part of the legend forever!

* * *

Ah, love is in the air! 

"AAAAH!! LOVE PARASITES! THEY'RE IN THE AIR AND THEY'LL EAT MY BRAINS!"

...Maybe I should rephrase that. It's almost Valentine's Day here in Domino and everyone is excited. If they're not excited about getting chocolate, they're happy about giving chocolate; if they're not happy about that, they're happy about eating chocolate by themselves, or if they're allergic to chocolate, they're happy about just being around in the season of love. Or, if they're Bakura and Marik, they're happy about screaming and lighting stuff on fire.

"Marik, there are no such things as love parasites. Shut up, bud." Bakura tried to smack Marik, who ducked and laughed.

"Even if they aren't, I want to know why there's so much chocolate!" Marik waved his arm to show what he meant. They were in the mall, and practically every shop had chocolate in the window. Even the chocolate stores, and that, for some reason, shocked Bakura.

"There is a lotta chocolate because...umm...Well, let's ask someone!" Bakura grabbed Marik's arm and dragged him through legions of frantic shoppers into the nearby chocolate shop. He smiled brightly at a female salesperson. "Excuse me, madam, but my dear friend here was wondering why there was so much chocolate around this week." At the 'are-you-_kidding_' look he received, he added, "He's from out of the country."

"OH!" She blushed. "Well, there's so much chocolate because it's almost Valentine's Day, sweetie." She winked flirtatiously. "Everyone wants some for their special girl."

Marik nodded. "Oh. Thanks!" He smiled and dug around in his pocket for something. He pulled out a five-dollar bill and handed it to the saleswoman. "Buy yourself some chocolate."

She smiled widely and put the money in her pocket. "Thank you, honey!"

Our boys turned and began to fight their way out of the store.

---

"Okay, so basically, this is like every other gift-giving holiday...except you give mushy stuff like chocolate and hearts?"

"Give hearts?" Marik blinked. "You mean like-"

Ryou sighed. "No, I don't mean like they rip their hearts out of their chests and give it to the girls, _because I know that's what you're thinking_, and Bakura, your summary was terrible." Ryou stood up from his couch and crossed to in front of the TV. "Look, guys, why don't you come to my school around lunch break on Valentine's Day? Everyone will be giving out their valentines then and maybe you'll understand why this is so important to people!"

Bakura glared up at him. He stood as well and pouted angrily. "You know how I feel about schools, Ryou."

"Public school is nothing like boarding school. Domino High is nothing like KAB was!"

"Yeah, public school is free and KAB cost money," Marik stated.

Bakura thought for a moment. Then pondered. Then mulled over the idea. Then he contemplated it. And finally, after running out of ways to say 'think', he said, "Oh fine. We'll go to your stupid school! But only for the lunch break!"

Ryou smiled and nodded. "Good."

"Now move out of the way!" Marik shouted. "I can't see the TV!"

---

Valentine's Day was the day after the next, so it wasn't long before Bakura and Marik, decked out in fancy leather, strutted onto Domino High School's lunch ground, which was outside. Well, the _good_ one was outside anyway. It was basically just a bunch of picnic tables on a wide grass lawn, but it was immensely popular with the students. Marik saw Malik and Ryou sitting on a picnic table being mobbed by leagues of girls. "Hey, is that his language arts teacher?" Bakura asked, pointing at one of the women in the mob.

Marik shrugged. "I don't pay attention to stuff like that."

"You mean anything Malik says?"

"Yeah, stuff like that."

Ryou, looking up after writing his name on yet another a valentine and handing it to yet another love-struck girl, saw the two yamis. He rose to his feet on top of the table and yelled, "Excuse me, ladies?" They all looked up at being called 'ladies' and started listening intently when they saw it was Ryou. "Thank you. Can you all please find some other men to gather around? I would like to speak with my friends at this moment in time." The women, after hearing Ryou's fancy speech, started to head off to other guys. He smiled to himself and waved the yamis over.

"He can get them to come over here just as easily as he can send them away," Malik said, lounging on the table with a smirk. "He's a real lady's man."

Ryou glared mildly at Malik before turning to the yamis. "So, you boys came." He faked a smirk at them. "Welcome to school on _my_ day! The day of love! And believe me, most of the girls at _this _school-"

"-And the next ones over-" Malik added.

"-are completely in love with me. Must be my charm and good looks."

"And not your modesty at _all_, right Ryou?" Malik asked sarcastically.

Ryou looked over at Malik and smirked for real. "No, I'm pretty sure they think I'm modest."

Malik laughed, sat up, and jumped off the table. "So, yamis, are you ready to understand the female mind?"

Marik and Bakura just stared at him. "Woah, woah! No one ever said anything about 'understanding the female mind'!"

Ryou jumped off the table too. "Well, girls are a major part of Valentine's Day."

"How big a part?"

"...About fifty percent."

"I thought chocolate was fifty percent!"

"No, chocolate is fifty percent of what you _give _to the girls-"

"-Excluding a valentine." Malik added.

"Right, excluding a valentine."

Marik raised his hand. "I have a question!" Ryou nodded at him. "I know it's Valentine's _Day_, but...what's a valentine?"

Ryou told him, "A normally heart-shaped piece of paper with romantic or friendly stuff written on it."

"Hey," Malik said, "That's not something these two would normally come across, now is it?"

Ryou laughed. "No, it's not!"

Bakura yelled, "HEY! I thought this holiday was about love and GOOD emotions! Not evil like that!"

"I reserve the right to be evil at least ONCE a year! And I'm cashing that in NOW!" Ryou snapped.

Bakura looked at him with pride. "You're evil! I'm so proud of you!"

Ryou laughed once again and ushered the yamis with him into the crowd of teenagers. "Okay, so a good tip is that if you don't _like _like a girl, don't give something to them unless it's a store-bought valentine. Those are a lot less romantic, so she won't get the wrong idea. A second tip is to take any gifts girls give you, but don't look too excited about it unless you _like _like her."

A pretty blue-haired girl tapped Ryou on the shoulder. "Excuse me?"

He looked over at her and smiled. "Yes?"

She blushed a dark red. "...Here." She handed him a thin square present. "Happy Valentine's Day, Ryou." With that, she ran off to her friends, who gathered around her and congratulated her on her nerve.

Ryou looked over at his friends. "I hope you were taking notes."

Marik just stared at him. Bakura blinked once at the confidence Ryou was giving off. Malik leaned over to the two of them and whispered, "If I had a lighter, I'd light his arrogant little hair on fire!"

While Ryou unwrapped his gift, Marik asked, "Since when have you known what air-o-gent means?"

"Since last Tuesday." Malik said proudly.

"YES!"

They looked over at Ryou, who had just shouted. He looked back at them and smiled brightly. "She gave me that CD I wanted!"

The three of them gave him blank looks.

"You know, The Best? By T.A.T.U.? The CD I put by name on my Christmas list? Three times? And no one got for me?"

Even after all that, they gave him blank stares and he sighed. "Just shut up, all of you."

---

Ten minutes later, with Bakura showing off his new cell phone case and the duct-tape rose now pinned to his shirt, the yamis had little more understanding of the holiday than they had last week. So Bakura finally had to stop and ask, "Ryou, what are we _really _doing here?"

"What do you mean?" He asked back.

"We can't just be here to learn about Valentine's Day!"

Ryou sighed and waved them all to a nearby table. Once they were all seated, he sighed again. "Okay, I did have an ulterior motive for bringing you guys here."

"I KNEW IT!" Marik shouted. "Hand over the five bucks you owe me."

Malik grumbled, reached into his pocket, and handed five dollars to Marik.

"I asked you guys to come because I needed you guys here to get the valentines people wanted to give you. I was NOT going to bring them all home myself." Ryou smirked and stood up on the table, dragging Malik up with him. "And now, I deliver you to torture." He cleared his throat and yelled, "HEY GIRLS!"

All the girls, and a few guys interested by the commotion, looked over at him.

"ORBIS BAKURA AND MARIK ISHTAR ARE HERE!"

Ryou, still dragging Malik, jumped off the far side of the table, leaving his and his friend's yamis to deal with the hoards of girls that had crowded around them.

---

Thirty minutes later, the two yamis had piles of paper hearts, half-eaten boxes of chocolates, and empty boxes of those candy hearts with writing on them stacked on the table. All the girls had left by then, leaving the two men to try and figure out exactly why so many girls had mobbed them. But there was still one girl, hiding behind an oak tree, who hadn't given her gift yet. She wanted to, and with her bubbly friend's encouragement, she finally headed over to the yamis' picnic table.

"Umm, excuse me, Marik?"

The two looked up from reading one of the countless valentines to see her. Bakura did a double take; she looked familiar somehow. She blushed and handed Marik a rectangle with a rounded top. Wrapped in Valentine paper, of course. "Happy Valentine's Day. I hope you like it." She blushed deeper and turned to run.

"Hey!"

She looked back and saw it was Bakura who had shouted. He had finally realized why she was familiar. "You wouldn't happen to know a secretary for the Ghost of Christmas Present, would you?"

She just stared at him and ran back to her friend. When her friend asked her how it went, she replied, "He's really cute, but his friend is crazy. Like, psycho crazy."

Meanwhile, back with the guys, Marik shook the present. "I wonder what it is..."

"Why don't you unwrap it?"

"But that would ruin the surprise!"

Bakura groaned. "Marik, open it."

Marik nodded and started to tear off the wrapping paper. It went flying everywhere and made Bakura wonder exactly how many layers of wrapping paper that girl used! Marik finally got all of it off and gasped when he saw it. "It's...it's..."

"It's a toaster."

"IT'S BEAUTIFUL!" He hugged it tightly. "IT'S SO SHINEY!"

Bakura sighed. "It's metal. It'll burn y-Wait, do you think we could toast some of our valentines in that?"

"THAT'D BE AWESOME!"

---

"She gave you a plane ticket to Egypt?"

"Yeah. I think she wants me to go back where I came from."

"Maybe."

Bakura and Marik slammed a bag onto the table. "Know what's in this?" Bakura asked.

"No," Malik said, still holding his ticket, "I don't. Care to tell us?"

"More paper, chocolate wrappers, and small, empty cardboard boxes than you could ever get on your own."

Marik smiled. "And we're going to put it all in my new toaster!"

"So Happy stinkin' Valentine's Day!"

And the two happy yamis walked off, bag in Bakura's hands, toaster in Marik's. Ryou and Malik called the fire department to warn them.

Once they got off the phone, Ryou asked Malik if he thought those two had learned anything about Valentine's Day.

Malik said back, "I think they learned how to get free stuff from girls."

"Anything about love?"

"Yeah. That you have a big head about it."

Malik learned just then that Ryou has a small temper.

* * *

Hikari: ((comes to a stop with Yawi and Leon)) Yeah, apparently the mob didn't care too much after getting this update.  
Yawi: But will they reform to mob you _because _of this chapter?  
Hikari: I hope not. We only have two more left!  
Leon: Thank goodness. But why don't you people review?  
Hikari: ...And _not _join the angry mob. 


	12. March

Hikari: ((hides in her tent-of-reviewer-protection)) I'm sorry this was late-ish! The weekend I was planning on this during ended up busy and the ending was so hard to write!  
Yawi: ((smirks)) Angry mob, ATTACK! ((Hikari runs away from last chapter's reformed mob, who chases her))  
Leon: ((laughs)) Who will do the disclaimer?

Yawi: Oh, I will. Hikari of the Moon does not own Yugioh. At all. She just owns this plot.

* * *

Bakura was a little shocked when he woke up on the morning of the seventeenth. Ryou was sitting on his stomach, staring at him with those hikari brand puppy-dog eyes(tm) that made everyone on the block fall to their knees and beg to know what they could do for him. Bakura just groaned and shut his eyes again. "What do you want?" 

Ryou smiled down at him. "Well," he said, "I wanted you to come to the mall with me today. And by today, I mean about now."

Bakura snapped, "I'm asleep!"

"You aren't now!" Ryou stared at him in silence for a minute and then whined again. "Please, Bakura! I'm getting new clothes for summer and you have better fashion sense!"

Bakura sat up instantly at the compliment, making Ryou fall on his back. "Well, if you insist..." He climbed out of bed, grabbed some clothes from his closet, and then turned to Ryou again. "You have to get out now. Unless you want me to go in my PJs."

Ryou nodded and scrambled out of the room. Malik and Marik stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at him. He headed down the stairs to them. "Well?" Malik asked.

"What did he say?" Marik asked.

"What did he do?"

"Did he pick something green?"

"Is our plan ruined?"

"Does he know we have a plan?"

Ryou put a hand on both of their shoulders. "In order, he's coming, he got up and got some clothes, no, no, and I don't think so."

Marik looked back up the stairs. "I feel sorta bad...I mean, he's my best friend...Should I really be letting him fall for this?"

"Marik, if you _don't _help us, you won't be able to leave the house for a week!"

Ryou shook his head sympathetically. "You shouldn't leave your blackmail just lying around the house."

Marik sighed. "Fine...But you guys are mean for hikaris!"

"Hey, just because we're _light_, doesn't mean we're _good_," Ryou said.

"Well I can see that." Marik grumbled.

"OKAY!" The trio jumped and looked up to the top of the stairs where a fully dressed Bakura was standing. Malik looked over his outfit while Bakura talked. "Let's get this shopping thing over with. And do we have to take the Ishtars? I thought only girls shopped in packs."

Ryou opened his mouth, but Bakura interrupted, "And don't say you're a girl, because you took so many valentine things _from _girls. Now Malik, I could see actually being one." He smirked. "I mean, look at his shirts!"

Malik started pulling down his shirt in a vain attempt to make it cover his stomach. But while he did, he leaned forward slightly and whispered, "No green."

Ryou smiled. Marik felt ashamed of himself, but looked up at Bakura and said, "I'll be there to save you from the hikaris!"

Bakura nodded. "At least they had enough sense to invite you. Now let's go! The great fashion ruler is ready!"

Ryou and Malik shared a look. Oh, revenge was going to be sweet.

----

If there was one thing everyone should know about Bakura, besides to stay away from him when he's angry or with Shawn, it's that he's not the brightest bulb in the bunch. From thief, to con-artist, to grave-robber, to spirit, to yami, to bratty pyro, he's never had the need for brains. Cunning, sure, but brains? No. If you need proof, may I remind you of the YSAFI test? Hasn't gotten any smarter since then.

So when he got pinched for the twenty-seventh time, he started to suspect something was wrong.

It took him until the forty-third pinch to say something about it.

"CUT IT OUT OR I'LL CUT IT OFF, MORTAL!" He screamed.

The six-year old boy ran back to his mother, crying the whole time. His mother, who was under the illusion that her bratty son was a sweet little angel, stormed over to Bakura and yelled, "Who do you think you are, yelling at my sweet little Jimmy?"

"YOUR 'SWEET LITTLE JIMMY' PINCHED ME! NOW LEAVE BEFORE I TEAR OUT YOUR SOUL!"

Needless to say, people gave him a wide berth after that. But, the brave, stupid, or double-dog-dared people continued to pinch him. The group got hungry after a while so they decided to make a pit stop at the food court. When they got there, everyone branched out to get their own food.

After waiting in line for what felt like forever, the four of them returned to their table and set down their food and drink. Malik didn't have a drink and when his yami started to ask him why, he ran across the food court again.

Marik asked, "Does anyone know where Malik's going?"

Ryou looked after him, noting the direction. "I have a hunch..."

"Yeah, yeah!" Bakura banged the table. "Let's talk about me now! And why everyone keeps pinching me!"

"Maybe you have a 'Pinch Me' sign on your back?" Marik suggested.

Bakura reached behind him. "No...Unless it's stitched to my shirt."

"Nah. That's a great shirt. Who would want to ruin it?"

"True, it is a great shirt. One of my favourites."

"Yeah, and it's not like Malik's! Yours actually goes down to your stomach."

"That's always confused me."

"_What's confused you?_" Malik slid into his seat, holding a cold, slushy-like drink. His voice was faster and higher than usual and his eyes were wide.

Ryou nodded. "Yup. Just as I suspected. Malik got a frappe."

Bakura stared. "A _what_?"

Ryou grabbed Malik's drink, ignoring Malik's cries of "My precious!". He explained, "It's a coffee drink. So Malik's probably wired now."

"_I am not! Just a little hyper..._" Malik giggled and snatched his precious drink back.

"Yeah, a _little_ hyper. And High School Musical has just a _little_ following." Bakura glared at a group of girls, who were walking by and talking about said movie.

"Sure," Marik said, "but it started small, remember?"

"_I am not a musical!_" Malik announced. He jumped up onto his chair and screamed to the entire food court, "_I AM NOT A MUSICAL! I AM A HUMAN BEAN!_"

"A human _coffee_ bean," Ryou whispered.

Bakura and Marik chuckled.

-----

After their refueling, the quartet continued their search for "cool" clothing for Ryou. And, at the same time, continued their evil little plan against Bakura. Currently, they were in one of the many department stores the mall had to offer. Bakura couldn't remember which, but there were...weird clumpy thing hanging from the ceiling.

While the hikaris were discussing getting Malik some new, longer shirts, Bakura poked Marik in the shoulder. Marik looked over at him and asked, "What?"

Bakura asked back, "What're the clumpy green things on the ceiling?"

Marik looked up. "Wow, I didn't notice them. ...I think they're called shamrocks."

Bakura blinked in confusion. "But what're they for?"

"St. Patrick's Day," Marik said offhandedly.

"Saint Whose Day?" Bakura then caught on to what they had tried to hide from him. "It's a holiday today?"

Marik gulped. "n-No, it's not..."

"It is! And..." He glared. "And you guys knew it was! That probably explains why I'm getting pinched!" He grabbed Marik by the shirt and dragged him closer, his glare intensifying. "Marik, tell me the trick to this holiday! Why am _I_ getting pinched and not you guys!"

Marik gulped again, more scared now than nervous. "I- I can't! Malik's got me!"

"Blackmail?"

"Blackmail."

"But, you know, if you didn't _tell_ me, and just pointed me in the right direction, it wouldn't get you in trouble."

Marik nodded frantically. "Right! Sure!" Bakura smirked back and let go of him. He quickly grabbed a green wristband off a stand and handed it to his friend. "This is great, isn't it? The _color_ is amazing, right?" He winked.

Bakura nodded, understanding slowly coming to him. "The color?"

Marik nodded again. "Yes, the color! I just love this shade of _green_."

Bakura smirked once again. Yes, he understood perfectly now. That explained the green shirts the hikaris were both wearing. Granted, they had Duel Monsters on them, but he supposed that was why he didn't notice. He slipped the wristband on as he whispered, "Now, to get my revenge..."

Marik faked a smile, his nervousness showing again. "Not against me too, right?"

"No, you can be spared...If you help me. But for two acts against me in two months...Ryou will pay." He cackled softly. "Oh yes, he will pay."

-----

"Come on out, Malik," Ryou said for what felt like the thousandth time.

Malik stayed huddled in a corner of his changing room. "I look horrible!"

"Let me be the judge of that. You probably just think you look bad because your bellybutton isn't showing anymore."

He sighed and said, "Okay, okay. You win." Then he unlatched the door and walked out. He was in a dark purple shirt that actually covered his stomach, unlike most of the shirts at home in his closet.

Ryou nodded. He was also in a shirt he hadn't bought yet: a pale blue t-shirt. "You look nice in that. Like...not like you're trying to get a cheap date."

"But what if I _was _trying to get a date?"

"Then you shouldn't yell at every girl that walks by."

"They insulted my shirt!"

"If wearing the shirt gets you _insulted_ by girls, why do you wear it when you want a date?"

"I don't!"

"But you just said..."

While they were wrapped up in their little argument, Bakura snuck into their changing rooms and stole their green shirts.

------

Meanwhile...

"Why should we help you?"

Marik pouted. "Out of the goodness in your heart?"

The group of six year olds, and their seven year old leader, glared. "NO!"

"...Out of the _violence_ in your heart?"

"...NO!"

Marik sighed and found his wallet. "If you do it, I'll give you guys an ice cream cone."

Their leader stepped forward. "Double scoop?"

Marik doubled checked how much money he had left on him. "Single scoop, one topping."

The leader looked back over his group. "You guys okay with that?"

The group nodded. "Sounds yummy!" One boy, Jimmy from earlier, said.

The leader nodded then turned back to Marik. "We'll do it!"

Marik smiled. "Great! Just come this way."

They ran over to the store, totally unnoticed by the children's mothers, who were too busy gossiping to care about their kids.

A mall playground is _not_ a daycare, people! Any random stranger could recruit your kid into an evil plan to destroy two hikaris! So WATCH YOUR KIDS!

...Yeah, we'll stop with the teaching of morals and get back to the story.

------

Ryou and Malik, having finally ended their argument, walked back into their separate changing rooms. They looked around for their shirts but, thanks to Bakura, could not find them. Ryou ran out of his changing room and knocked on Malik's door. "Hey, is your shirt still in there?"

Malik looked up from his search. "No...no I can't." He walked out to Ryou. "You think they've been stolen?"

Ryou scoffed. "Who would want to steal our shirts?"

Malik laughed, "Yeah, I know."

Ryou joined him and they both laughed for a while, until a thought struck Malik. "...Bakura would."

Ryou blinked, stopping his laughter to listen. "What?"

"If Bakura found out about the trick, then he'd want our shirts so we aren't wearing green anymore."

"Oh no."

They ran back out into the store, desperate to find the shirt-stealing yami. Dodging shopping carts, families, and salesclerks, they looked for Bakura throughout the store. Until they reached the front.

"Greetings, mortals."

They both looked to the very front of the store and saw Bakura and Marik standing in the opening. Children flanked them, all looking very eager for something.

What it was, the hikari duo didn't know. And didn't think they wanted to know.

Bakura stepped forward, looking for all the world like an evil villain who finally trapped the heroes. Other shoppers gathered around them, sensing the tension and wondering what would happen next. "I bet you've already figured out we're the ones who've taken your shirts. Those store shirts are nice, though."

"Quiet, Bakura!" Ryou snapped.

"What've you done with our shirts?" Malik questioned.

"Oh," Bakura smiled evilly and held up two green shirts, "You mean these?" He shrugged. "I suppose you do. But, I have another idea." He tossed them over his shoulder. "Marik?"

Marik smirked. "Children, they aren't wearing green! ATTACK!"

The kids raced around the yamis like a stampeding herd. They jumped on to Ryou and Malik, the sheer number of kids knocking them over. They all started pinching the duo, cackling and squealing the entire time. Ryou and Malik tried to squirm away, but the kids effectively held them down, preventing all escape from the torture.

The yamis watched the fruits of their labor with bright eyes.

After they felt they'd seen enough, Bakura spoke up. "Alright, stop for a second," he commanded. The kids got off of the hikaris, but kept them pinned down. He leaned down over them and smirked. "This is what you get," he said, "when you try to pull the wool over _my_ eyes. Now, children! Return to your work!"

The kids jumped back on and kept pinching Malik and Ryou as Bakura and Marik made their dramatic exit.

The hikaris were right. Revenge was sweet...just not for them.

* * *

Hikari: ((cries)) There's only one chapter left!  
Yawi: So review and show her you care.  
Leon: Hey, look what I borrowed from that Cloud from Kingdom Hearts! ((shows off his giant sword))  
Yawi: Which we don't own. But he'll use it on you if you don't review!  
Hikari: ((sobs)) ONE CHAPTER LEFT! 


	13. April Finale

Hikari: ((cries)) It's almost over! Just this last chapter!  
Yawi: There, there...  
Leon: You're comforting her?  
Yawi: No, I'm telling the delivery man where to put the party stuff!  
Leon: Oh. ((comforts Hikari instead))  
Hikari: ((sniffs)) Well, if anyone wants a little more Holidays by Bakura fun, Moments Before Holidays is a collection of sidestories to this! I love you all! Especially the reviewers, the twenty-three people who have this on alert or favourites, the five dears who have it on both alert _and_ favourites, and the two "godfathers" of this fic, my brother Yoshi and my Beta Phish, Largo!

Hikari: This is the last disclaimer! I, Hikari of the Moon, do solemnly swear that I do NOT own Yugioh, nor am I making any money off of this fanfiction. Now, go enjoy the final chapter! It's longer than normal, just for you!

* * *

On March 31st, the town of Domino was buzzing with activity. But the atmosphere felt...tense. As if this was the eye of the storm. The false calm during a tornado. 

The activity was everyone making sure they had everything they needed to survive work, school, or vacation the next day. For the next day would be the final showdown between two feuding forces.

...Yes, this is still Holidays by Bakura! You haven't hit a wrong link! Just give me a minute to explain!

The feuding forces, in this case, were the hikaris and the yamis. All the anger and retaliation they'd been through over the past three or so months had reached its head. So, they had come to an agreement: Whoever pranked the other side the most and the best on April Fool's Day would be the winner in this impromptu war. And since using only the hikaris and yamis that were feuding would leave just two on each side, they were allowed a maximum of two other people to join their side.

The hikaris drafted Yami, who had incentive help them, and Yugi, who was a fellow hikari and would show them the light of reason incase they got too wrapped up in the war.

The yamis had chosen their friend Mokuba, and Shawn. They proclaimed that the lighter was practically a separate person, and besides, they only needed those three to beat the hikaris.

And so, the stage was set. In order to save some face, Ryou slept over at Malik's house and Marik at Ryou's apartment with Bakura, so that there would be no unofficial pranking in the night.

The rules were as follows: Time limit: Midnight to midnight, April Fool's Day. No extremely mean pranks, like putting hair-removal cream in a shampoo bottle. All pranks were to be listed, so that any un-triggered ones could be removed after the day was up. No stealing the other team's list of pranks. No adding team members, however, you could get one other person's help only for one prank.

Beyond that, it was all systems full throttle.

T-minus three hours and counting.

----

Bakura, Marik, and Mokuba were spending those last few hours plotting. The first two were on a speaker phone, and talking to their younger partner. "So, girly--"

"I AM NOT A GIRL!"

Bakura snickered. "It's more fun that way, though."

"Don't we need to be serious now?"

Marik nodded.

"...Marik says yes."

Marik blinked. "What-- OH! Sorry Mokuba! I forgot you weren't here in person!"

Mokuba laughed. "It's fine, stupid. Now come on, do you guys have the plans or what?"

Bakura nodded and said, "Yup." He pulled a notepad out from his pocket and consulted it. "We have at least ten different pranks for tomorrow."

"But," Marik added, "We can't use all of them. So we'll have to choose some now. You sure this is a secure line?"

"Where did he learn how to say that?"

Bakura chuckled. "He's been watching spy movies."

Marik laughed. Mokuba smiled on his end. "Figures. But yeah, this line's secure. It's actually my brother's."

"So it's definitely secure! Alright! Time for business!"

Bakura nodded. "Marik's right, time to get to work. The first prank on the list is..."

----

Around the same time that the scheming trio was making their final decisions on their pranks, the 'good' quartet was also on the phone. Only, they weren't plotting their pranks. Being the smart ones, they'd already done that. No, they were doing something much more important.

Playing three different video games and talking about all of them at once.

...For the sake of all of our sanities, let's not listen in on that. Just know that they were mentally preparing for the battle.

----

The clock chimed midnight.

The alarm clock in the Mutou family's living room and the clock on the computer in Bakura's room rang out twelve loud chimes.

The two teams smirked. It was now officially April Fool's Day. And the day of the greatest prank war in the history of the city of Domino.

----

Yami cautiously climbed out of bed. Then, he slid on a bar of soap, fell forward, and landed face first in a tub of hair-gel.

A note fluttered down from the ceiling. Yugi, who had looked before he got up and avoided a similar fate by whipped cream, plucked it from Yami's hair and read it aloud.

"Dear Pharaoh, thought you might need more hair-gel, since you use so much daily. We're winning, in case you're wondering. Yours, Bakura, Marik, and Mokuba." Yugi grabbed the phone and gripped it tightly. Which caused it to fly out of his hands and land on the floor.

"P.S," Yami read off the back of the note, "In case you try to call our hikaris, we greased the phone."

----

Bakura and Marik woke up nervous. Well, not exactly _nervous_. More like, curious. Wondering what the hikaris had managed to do, especially to the apartment, in the four hours they were actually sleeping.

Bakura smiled as he stood up. "I'll check the living room, you check the bathroom."

Marik nodded and headed off.

Bakura slunk down the stairs like a jungle cat, looking around every corner and watching where he stepped. He was _not_ going to be pranked by the likes of them!

"COLD!"

Bakura blinked and looked back up the stairs. Marik came racing out of the bathroom, soaking wet. "What'd you get?" Bakura asked.

Marik glared, "Bucket of water over the door!"

Bakura stared at his partner. "That? I thought only little kids got hit by those! Aren't you smarter than that?"

"Apparently _NOT!_" He yelled. His voice suddenly lost its anger as he made a request. "Now, can I borrow some clothes?"

Bakura nodded. "Sure, and throw water on all Ryou's clothing, okay?"

"Alright!"

Bakura then left his partner to his own devices and continued checking the living room for booby traps.

----

Precisely one hour, three shirt changes-- all Marik's-- , two foiled pranks, and one very angry, and very mustard covered neighbor later, the phone rang.

Bakura ran his fingers over it, checking it for grease or other such substances, then, when he found it was untampered with, picked it up. "Hello?"

"B? It's YM."

Bakura groaned mentally. Didn't he already tell Marik no codenames? "Mo-...YM, what's the codenames?"

"I'm using a payphone."

A third voice asked, "They still have those?"

Mokuba blinked. "Who's that?"

Bakura looked upstairs. Marik leaned out of Bakura's room, waving the upstairs phone. "Oh," Bakura said, "It's just...OM on the upstairs phone." He shuddered at using the stupid codenames.

"Well," Mokuba continued with a snigger, "the porcupines fell for both the hair-gel and the greased phone. H-porcupine, however, didn't fall for the whipped cream."

Bakura nodded. "Excellent. We still got most of them."

"Have you fallen for anything yet, Mokuba?"

"Negative, OM."

"...Huh?"

"_No_."

"Oh!"

Bakura shook his head. "Alright, let's meet up outside OM's house ASAP."

"Roger that, over and out."

Mokuba hung up. Marik and Bakura did the same, the first of which came running down the stairs. "Bakura? How are we going to prank them this early?"

Bakura smiled, "Start walking and I'll tell you."

The yamis quickly put on some shoes and made the trip to Marik's house in record time. Mokuba was already there, waiting.

"There you two are!" He yelled.

Bakura shushed him quickly.

Mokuba blushed slightly. "Right, sorry. So, how're we going to prank them in the middle of the morning?"

"I just asked that!" Marik announced.

Bakura smiled. "Simple. They'll probably be on the phone with the porcupine-heads about now, so it'll be easy to pull the wool over their eyes."

Marik blinked. "Bakura, we didn't bring any wool. Just some rolls of paper, duct tape, and markers."

Mokuba held up the bucket that was sitting beside him. "And these golf balls."

Bakura sighed. "That's just an expression, Marik. Look, here's what we're going to do..."

----

"Then you two need to learn to look before you _do_ anything!" Malik snapped.

Ryou nodded. "Yeah, you two have to learn."

Yugi glared at Yami, since he couldn't glare at either of the two he was mad at, and Yami just sighed. "Boys, you know this is just a game, right?"

Yugi moved the phone away from his ear.

"IT'S NOT JUST A GAME!" Ryou and Malik screamed, "THIS IS REVENGE!"

Meanwhile, outside...

Marik blinked. "Why're they yelling _that_?"

Bakura shrugged and ripped off a piece of tape. "Don't know, but it means they won't be listening! Mokuba, the balls!"

Back with the hikari's phone conversation...

Yugi moved the phone back to his ear. Yami winced in pain. "My ear! It bleeds!"

Yugi playfully smacked Yami. "Shush, this is a business call." He turned his attention back to the phone. "I know this is your twisted version of revenge. Yami just had a momentary lapse of all common sense. So, have you guys been pranked yet?"

"No. Haven't even had to disable one yet!" Ryou chuckled. "It's like they aren't even trying."

Yugi smirked. "Well, don't get too cocky. You never know when you'll get hit by a prank."

Malik nodded. "_Sure_, Yugi. Sure. Just leave this to the professionals."

"Whatever. Call us if you need us."

"See ya."

Malik and Ryou hung up their phones. They smirked and headed outside to see the yamis and set up a few more pranks.

If only they'd heard the three hushed whispers of, "Hurry, hide!".

They opened the door. And got hit by a shower of golf balls. Mainly Malik, since he was the actually the one who opened it, but Ryou got pelted by his fair share.

They looked up at the door frame. _Someone_, or should I say _three_ someones, had taped paper across it to hold hundred of golf balls against the door. When the door opened, they had followed.

Written the paper was a message: "Strike three. You clowns are out. Bakura, Marik, and Mokuba."

Ryou scowled. Malik spat out a golf ball and snarled, "We'll show them!"

Ryou stared at the mocking words on the paper, unable to believe they had been pranked like this without their noticing. "But how?"

"Oh, we can do it. They have a glaring weakness on their team. And, if you're willing to break the rules a little, we can take advantage of it."

Ryou paused for a moment and then replied. "Should we call the Mutous?"

"Nah, let's just meet with them." Malik paced across the floor. "They'll help. Once we destroy the weakness, they'll be weak enough to take out one by one."

"So, what is the weakness?" He finally tore his gaze away from the paper in the doorway and looked at his fellow hikari.

"Marik. And that thing he has against blackberry jam."

"How do we take advantange of _that_?"

"Quite easily." Malik smacked down the paper and kicked a few golf balls away. "Now, let's meet with those Mutous and get this working. We'll show them!"

----

While the recently pranked duo plotted revenge, the pranking trio was halfway down the street, laughing their heads off at the successful trick. "That was worth the time-crunch!"

Marik agreed with Mokuba quickly, stumbling over a raised part of the sidewalk.

Even Bakura was enjoying himself. For once, he wasn't worried about retaliation today. He truly believed they couldn't beat that, not with the rules they'd set up.

Funny. The theif obeys the rules while his foes are, at that very moment, planning to break them for the victory.

Then Mokuba tripped. Which actually was funny.

----

"...And that's the plan," Malik said with a flourish.

Yami stop humming abruptly. "Isn't that breaking at least one of the rules?"

"Actually," Ryou said, "it's breaking two, since it won't be on the official list."

Yami looked away. "Breaking the rules to win? Are we really going to stoop to their level?"

"...Ummm, yeah."

"That's the plan."

"Sounds like it to me."

He sighed. "Fine, if you hikaris really want to do it like this, count me in." He blinked, then quickly covered his ears to save them from the--

"YES!"

The screams of joy from the hikaris.

"AAAH!"

And the screams of shock when their happy dance landed them in that tub of hair-gel Yami had forgotten to clean out.

"Ah, sweet karma."

----

The two teams met in the park: Ryou and Malik on one side, Bakura, Marik, and Mokuba on the other. It was noon. The sun beat down on the teams as they met, face-to-face, for the first time that day. None of the three on the other team noticed Yugi and Yami weren't there.

"Hey, where are the spike heads?"

...Okay, so Marik noticed.

Malik shrugged. "Getting food."

Bakura accepted it and continued. "How's the morning been?"

"Great, except that Yami landed head-first in hair-gel, Yugi's phone was greased, and we got pelted by golf balls when we tried to leave the house. How'd you get those set up?"

Bakura smirked and patted Mokuba on the head. "Our little Mokuba unlocked your skylight for the first two, and the last, we did it while you were on the phone."

Malik nodded. "Smart. So, how many did you fall for so far?"

"Well, I disabled at least five," Bakura started.

"And...And I fell for one," Marik admitted. "That bucket over the bathroom door."

Ryou and Malik looked at each other for a fleeting second, then burst out laughing. "Who falls for that?" Ryou said between laughs.

"Me." Marik said, blushing through his natural tan. "I wasn't looking!"

Mokuba blinked. "Why's it taking so long for Yugi and Yami to get food?"

Malik held in a smirk. "Oh, I think I see them coming."

Bakura smiled. "Great. They getting anything for us?"

Ryou nodded. "Yeah, they've got something for you..."

Bakura's smile fell off his face. Something about this didn't feel right all of a sudden. He focused on Ryou's line of sight, and noticed he was looking _behind_ them. He turned around, a second too late.

Yugi and Yami had already moved forward and, while Bakura watched, dumped a bucket of something dark and sticky on to Marik.

Mokuba dipped a finger in the goo and licked it. "Hmm...Blackberry."

Marik's whole body clenched. He knew what this was. "Get it off," he commanded through clenched teeth, his eyes growing wide.

Bakura walked around Marik and put a hand on Mokuba's shoulder. "Kid, get him cleaned off _fast_. I'll explain later."

Mokuba nodded, confused, but dragged a shellshocked Marik away.

Bakura watched after them. Then, when they were out of sight, he changed. He glared viciously at his four opponents. "Did ANY of you remember that little rule, 'Don't do overly-cruel pranks'! Because it doesn't look like you did!"

Malik smirked. "We remembered it."

"We just didn't listen!" Yugi exclaimed.

Bakura turned his focus to Yugi and Yami. "And I thought you two would object. Especially you, Yami. Aren't you the symbol of truth and justice or something like that?"

He shook his head. "You know what, forget it? I'm pulling out the stops. You four are going down! I'm going to hit you where it hurts most.

I've got twelve hours to make your lives miserable! And I'm going to do it!" Bakura glared and, with a swish of a cape that I could've _sworn_ he wasn't wearing before, he stormed off after his teammates.

He ran as fast as he could after his friends. He found them standing in front of someone's house, Mokuba setting down a hose and Marik sopping wet with a dark puddle under him. Marik leapt out of it. "Did it have to be _cold_ water?"

Mokuba shrugged. "Bakura said to do it fast and I couldn't figure out the temperature control."

"And you did nice work Mokuba," Bakura said. He slung an arm around his best friend. "How you feeling?"

Marik smiled sheepishly. "A lot better now that that...stuff is off me. But..."

"But?"

"I'M WET!"

Bakura chuckled. "Well, let's get you dried off. We have some plans to make."

"Plans?" Mokuba asked.

"Yup. We've got about three hours to figure out how to hurt those hikaris and Yami the most, and nine to put those into action."

----

The brainstorming took a little while. Partly because Marik kept changing his clothing during the meeting, and partly because Mokuba had to remind them that, no, throwing them in the lake with cement shoes is not a viable option.

They'd finally gotten their act together, though. Mokuba called his brother for help, which wasn't cheating at all, since they remembered they could get one person to help with a prank. Seto had instantly agreed once he'd heard he'd be helping to get Yami.

Bakura had allowed Marik to codename the acts of evil they were about to commit. You know, to help him feel better after the trauma of getting that horrid stuff dumped on him.

Operation: REVENGE! COLD BLOODED REVENGE! was ready.

----

Step One: Get Yugi and Yami

The above-mentioned duo was sitting in their living room. All was normal until...

"Yugi. Spirit-Guy."

They looked up. Seto Kaiba was standing in their living room, the Kaiba-brand smirk planted firmly on his face. "Need something?" Yami asked.

Seto just kept on smirking and stepped to one side, revealing Mokuba burning their deck boxes.

_That_ got their attention. "OUR CARDS!"

Seto touched the logo on his cloak. The one that doubled as a communicator. "B? This is S and YM. Phase one complete." And then, Mokuba and he ran for their lives.

----

Bakura nodded. He was standing in an alley, waiting. "Roger that, S. Phase two beginning." He stepped out of the alley, right in the path of Ryou. "Hey hikari. Guess what?"

Ryou blinked. He opened his mouth and--

Got bound up by magic chains, courtesy of the Millennium Ring and a duel monsters card.

"You're about to get a makeover." Bakura said, not feeling silly in the slightest. He walked around Ryou and toyed with his hair. "Let's see...How about a hair cut?" He pulled a pair of scissors out of his pocket. "About shoulder length good for you?" He waited a second like he expected a response from the gagged boy. "Great!"

A few snips later, white hair littered the sidewalk and Bakura was walking away, talking into his radio. "OM? This is B. Phase two complete. Begin phase three." With a wave of his hand, he released Ryou and broke out into a run.

----

"Okay, B! If you say so!" Marik put away his radio and counted. "Three...two...one..."

"AAAHHH!"

Marik laughed, but held it in. That was the sound of Malik getting soaked. Now he just had to wait.

Five minutes later, Malik walked out of his house. Marik stood up and smiled at him. "Hey Malik! I like the skirt!"

Malik was fuming. Thanks to Marik, his pants were all gone and the only thing left in his closet was a lavender mini-skirt. "I'm going to get you!"

Marik "eep"ed and ran from Malik, who only stopped to kick the men who didn't recognize him. Those would be the ones making cat-calls and wolf whistles.

While running, he pulled his radio back out. "B! S! This is OM! My target is chasing me fast! Head to the dump destination?"

"This is S. That's where YM and I are. Can you guys hurry? YM can't hold them off much longer!"

"B here. My target's almost there!"

Marik said, "Okay!" He looked back and sped up. "We'll be there soon!"

----

Bakura and Marik ran into the same clearing in the park they'd been at a few hours ago, Ryou and Malik on their tails. They ran straight at each other, but at the last second, they swerved. The hikaris, however, didn't.

"OW!"

"HEY!"

Bakura and Marik walked back to Mokuba. Seto stood off to the side. Yugi and Yami stopped chasing Mokuba and knelt down next to Ryou and Malik.

"So, we meet again. This time, without the ambush." Bakura smirked.

Marik smirked too. "Nice hair, Ryou."

Mokuba nodded. "And I just adore that skirt, Malik!"

Yugi stared. "Malik...why are you wearing that?"

In return, Malik smacked him. "He stole all my pants!"

"Actually," Marik said, "I just put them in Ishizu's room."

Yami crossed his arms and glared. "So, why'd you burn our decks?"

Mokuba wagged his finger. "Nuh uh! We burn your deck _boxes_. Your decks are still in your room."

"Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh' is right!" Bakura snapped. "You hurt one of ours, we hurt all of yours!"

Seto scoffed. "So, when is this going to end?"

They all looked at him. "This isn't any of your business," Malik snapped.

Seto looked at Malik, but quickly looked away. "Oh, shut up and stand up! At this angle, I can see up your skirt! Couldn't you have picked something longer?"

Malik shot up like a rocket. "KAIBA!"

Seto ignored him and continued lecturing. "You morons are going to just keep fighting until someone gets hurt fatally, aren't you? Why don't you just end this?"

"This...was supposed to end it," Mokuba said.

Seto laughed dryly. "Sure. Why don't you just work out an agreement? I'll even help you. Yamis, and Mokuba, no more lighting stuff on fire, getting kids to beat someone up, or otherwise inflicting pain and suffering! Hikaris, and Yami, give them a little break, will you? They're idiots who on't know better."

He glared at both sides. "Now shake on it! Or _I'll_ be the one making your lives miserable!"

Everyone immediately stepped up and starting shaking hands. Yugi even shook his own hand once when no one else had a free one.

And so, it draws to a close. It being a year of pranks, laughs, stupidness, screaming, skirts, and fire. A fun year, a sad year, but certainly a crazy year.

Wait, aren't we forgetting someone?

Bakura smiled brightly, pulled out Shawn, and burned a tree to the ground in celebration of the truce.

...Now we aren't!

The End!

* * *

Hikari: Well, this is it. Yawi's already starting the "We've Finally Finished A Fanfiction" party, so I guess I should hurry. Please review this final chapter, check out the sidestories if that tickles your fancy, and I hope you've enjoyed this ride as much as I have this past year! We've gotten exactly seventy-five reviews and around three thousand hits! Again, I really love you all! Thank you everyone and good bye! ((disappears in a puff of grey smoke...then goes to her party)) 


End file.
